Lumberjack Folio, that would be an awesome Dungeons & Dragons monster manual.
Your party is ambushed by a pack of feral splinter cats, roll for initiative!
A loooooong time ago, I wrote a short story set in Maine that featured a lot of these “lumberjack folio” creatures! I need to dig that thing up now…The best part was when the splinter cats start flinging themselves at the loggers and splattering them all over the woods!
I had one of those cats once, except it was a bird feeder, not a tree. And there was a window in the way. But he never quit trying!
I am so statting up those critters…
The Splishy Cat.
Scientific name: Nasusossificatus aquamdemolieus
Responsible for: shattered tanks
A domesticated water variant of the Splinter Cat. Seeks food within water-filled glass aquariums and fishbowls, but rarely succeeds. Also moronic.
Also - and I swear this isn’t an aside - if you are fond of the Splintercat, you should hunt down a copy of this book written by Julie Andrews:
Borges has an entry on the “Fauna of the United States” in his Book of Imaginary Beings that covers a fair number of fantastic creatures concocted (or discovered) by the lumberjacks of Minnesota and Wisconsin. It’s worth a look!
Note to cat: fishtank != Paradise City.
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