NBA star presents stellar example of "How to support your LGBTQ+ child"

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2020/02/11/nba-star-presents-stellar-exam.html

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As the proud parent of a trans kid, I can’t tell you how cool this is.

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Parenting done right.

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Why can’t we say trans children? Why do we have to make euphemistic remarks about trans people? Just say trans issues if it’s clearly about trans issues. Please.

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You can. Who says you can’t?

Are you complaining about the headline? Because in the video the takeaway is to be loving and supportive of your kid period - including trans and the rest of the LGBTQ+ spectrum. While this specific example is about a trans kid, the “stellar example” applies to a lot more than just trans kids.

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I do see your point; although the message (as Mister44 says), is supporting all LGBTQ+ children, they did not specifically address trans children. Most likely an oversight, given the openness otherwise. They certainly didn’t shy away from calling Jaya by her new chosen name, or using preferred pronouns.

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Because it also applies to sexual identity as well as gender identity.

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My issue is trans rights are under attack in over a dozen states and the child in this story is trans. Yes, I realize that it encompasses both the way we should treat trans, and LGBAP youth, but this story is particularly about a trans child and that is not mentioned in either the headline or the description. Full disclosure, I am trans, and I am very scared of the climate in the country, and the most helpful thing that can be done in my opinion is to be vocally supportive of trans people, esp. when speaking about their issues specifically. The backlash to this interview has been horrifying, and the backlash has been against trans women specifically. Thank you, I appreciate your sharing it in the first place.

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I’m sorry, the last thing I want to do is sound combative (a stereotype that trans women have sadly become straddled with). My concern is real, I see article after article that focuses on trans issues but couches them with the QUILTBAG catchall, and while there is an overlap between gender and sexuality, I think that when trans issues are being discussed, the word trans should be prominent. I would like this to end one day, that we can speak in umbrella terms again. I would like the constant attacks to end, but that day is not today. It would be great if we could protect trans people by validating their existence. Also, I apologize for my bad editing skills on this platform. Though I’ve been reading Boing Boing since its days in print, my anxiety that stems from working in a high school, helping trans teenagers, has spurred me to this: my first comment to an article. Sorry for my sloppy editing, and thank you for listening to my nervous rhetoric.

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I understand your frustration, although the headline did not bother me. There is some progress in the world, though, although you are correct that our rights are under attack. I am encouraged by stories like these, though. And by my own experiences. I’m a 51 year old transwoman and I just started law school. At a Catholic university. Before the first day of classes, they had asked us what our preferred pronouns were. And when I say us, I mean all students. This was reinforced during orientation when we were asked to introduce ourselves, including our preferred pronouns. In Torts, we actually studied the case of Brandon Teena. My professor and all my classmates used the correct pronouns to refer to Brandon Teena, even though the actual court record does not. Anyway, I’m off topic. I just really try to focus on the positive these days. For my sanity. And I’m well aware of my privilege in being able to do that.

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On the other hand there are hate groups actively trying to remove the T from the acronym and erase trans people from LGBTQ+ history. We need to find a way to increase trans visibility without voluntarily removing ourselves from the LGBTQ+ umbrella, it was a hard fight to get recognised as part of it 30 years ago.

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I think there is a misunderstanding. I’m not trying to strip transgender issues away from issues surrounding sexuality. Here is a good anecdote, I’ve been in meetings discussing the suicide epidemic, and I’ve heard this odd thing said repeatedly “LGBT Trans.” My concern is that we are becoming a society that can only speak in euphemisms, and while I don’t begrudge the gay and lesbian community in seeking recourse for their grievances, I hardly recall trans people being included in the conversation. My main concern was that in an article highlighting the journey of a trans child, the word trans was never used.

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How about be supportive of your children. That is about as inclusive as it gets. That is unless they make moronic choices like strapping a tarp to their backs and climbing on the roof. That is where I draw the line. No support for that shit.

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Yeah, that kind of behavior is putting the appallin’ in tarpaulin.

I’m really impressed with how the long hard work of LGBTQ+ community has moved the goalposts within my life time; from closeted sports stars to this.

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The current Twitter trend #ExpelMe is particularly depressing. “I am a Labour party member and [insert transphobic rant]”, repeat ad nauseam.

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I couldn’t care less about basketball but I have to applaud Zaya for being brave enough to allow this. It’s a wonderful story about some awesome parents but the pressure on Zaya must be intense. I’m glad she has her parents to help and protect her.

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But I thought that Labour was the Antisemitic Party?! /s

I guess that, (a) there are going to be arseholes in any party (the arseholes just aren’t evenly distributed), and (b) the tweeters might not actually be Labour Party Members, or © you shouldn’t be going on twitter as it is a cesspit of remorseless negativity and kittens.

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Welcome aboard, comrade. It is useful to get as many viewpoints on a issue as possible.

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I suspect it’s more that feminism is strongly associated with the Labour Party, and that there’s currently a split in feminism between trans-inclusionary and trans-exclusionary positions.

It’s particularly upsetting when the whole “predatory transwoman” trope is so clearly a rehash of similar stereotypes about gay people.

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Your response to the story took me aback a little. Something I’ve learned is that when I’m taken aback by something someone says about their experience of being oppressed, that means I’m missing something and I need to listen. The treatment of trans people is an emotional issue for both of us, and it should be for everyone.

If you do get combative, I’m in your corner and I’m not the only one. We know who threw the first punch. There’re pejorative names for members of any oppressed group that say, “I don’t feel like being oppressed anymore.”

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