Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2019/08/07/florida-woman-bites.html
“I’ll be more careful from now on when I open my door. I’ll open my door with my Taser because I have one.”
She’s a geriatric alligator.
I missed the L and the A, wondered what restaurant would serve an old toothless woman a 34 year old burger and how they knew it was that old.
Being nearly toothless at 61 says everything you need to know about American healthcare.
Everyone knows full face masks aren’t cool!
Even half visors are for Swedes
…Gerigator? Piranhma?
The crook doesn’t know how lucky he was that the lady wasn’t radioactive. When you’re a man in his thirties and you start turning into a grandma, everything changes, let me tell you, dear.
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Good on her.
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Why is there still a “Race” in the inmate listing? What if he was 1/4 caucasian or hispanic? Is “B” for Black? Belgian? BRO?..oh wait, that’s his “eye color”.
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Good thing he didn’t try to rob this kid:
…and can’t get the taste out of her mouth
Message to all you youngsters out there: Older people are much stronger than you think. No joke.
The only thing that can stop a Florida Man with a knife, is a Florida Woman with her gums.
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