Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2019/08/07/florida-woman-bites.html
“I’ll be more careful from now on when I open my door. I’ll open my door with my Taser because I have one.”
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She’s a geriatric alligator.
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I missed the L and the A, wondered what restaurant would serve an old toothless woman a 34 year old burger and how they knew it was that old.
Being nearly toothless at 61 says everything you need to know about American healthcare.
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Everyone knows full face masks aren’t cool!
Even half visors are for Swedes 
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…Gerigator? Piranhma?
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The crook doesn’t know how lucky he was that the lady wasn’t radioactive. When you’re a man in his thirties and you start turning into a grandma, everything changes, let me tell you, dear.
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Good on her.
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Why is there still a “Race” in the inmate listing? What if he was 1/4 caucasian or hispanic? Is “B” for Black? Belgian? BRO?..oh wait, that’s his “eye color”.
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Good thing he didn’t try to rob this kid:
…and can’t get the taste out of her mouth
Message to all you youngsters out there: Older people are much stronger than you think. No joke.
The only thing that can stop a Florida Man with a knife, is a Florida Woman with her gums.
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