New Jersey high school coach arrested for years-long sexual relationship with teen

Originally published at: School coach arrested for sex with teen

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Fixed it.


I don’t understand why when the offending teacher is female, almost always it is listed as a “sexual relationship” instead of “raped a child”.


I think:

  1. Consent is poorly understood and a lot of people still believe that all rapists are large, scary men in ski masks.
  2. Titillation. Framing assaults committed by women as “relationships” signals that it’s okay to fantasize about them.

And also because if the victim was a boy, there is a significant number of people who sincerely do not see that as rape. They think (and this is disgusting) because she was a hot older teacher, the boy was just lucky

I remember back with True Blood on HBO this laudable episode where the brother (can’t remember his name) confronts the teacher who sexually assaulted him in high school and how much that damaged his ability to have healthy sexual relationships as an adult


That’s because “rape” doesn’t mean what you think it means.

It now requires forcible penetration, so any statistics of rape after 2013 are going to be generally misinterpreted by most people.

It’s kinda Orwellian, but what else should we expect?

It means exactly what people think it means: being forced to have vaginal or anal sex. The penetratee is no longer required to be female, nor be the victim.

The change explains why people with vaginas inflict “sexual relations” instead of “rape”. I am not sure why “statutory rape” isn’t used instead, but don’t care enough to drive into the legalisms.


Michelle Buteau No GIF by NETFLIX

Again, THIS IS STILL RAPE. Rape is not defined by force penetrative sex. That’s more patriarchal bullshit.


There are legal definitions of the crime of rape, which can be different from state to state in the US and country to country around the world.
Then there is the common understanding of rape.
In this case, an adult had sex with a child. That is rape. Or sexual assault if you absolutely must be debating the language used for pedophilia


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That’s an egregiously bad take, was it supposed to be funny?


Keep in mind that the people on this board come from all over the world, and that the FBI is just one government body with one legal definition of rape (one that is the most relevant in this case, of course). And also keep in mind that we may or may not agree with that FBI definition. But they are certainly NOT the final word on the subject.


New Jersey state law would be more relevant here than the FBI. I’m not going to copy it here because the language is very clear and direct and could be triggering to some, but here is a link to the New Jersey law defining sexual assault, for those who care to know the details. And that law doesn’t use the term rape. That’s important for this discussion here in this comment section because rape doesn’t carry a legal definition in New Jersey, just a societal one, and for that, I refer you to @Mindysan33’s comment above. And to be clear, I am saying that there is no difference between sexual assault and rape. They are two terms for the same thing. Stop trying to differentiate them. (I don’t mean you specifically @gabe_oakes , but anyone in the thread trying to make a distinction…there isn’t one)


In general, pushign that the only “correct” definition of rape is the legal one is bullshit, given just how bullshit the application of the law actual is, and how that’s changed over the years. It leaves out far too much acts of violence, privileges the stereotype of a man jumping out of the bushes to rape a “good” girl… It’s patriarchal nonsense…

Thanks, @danimagoo!


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