Next #StarWars movie STAR WARS: ROGUE SQUADRON slated for Christmas 2023, directed by WONDER WOMAN'S Patty Jenkins

This is enough content to provide billions of hours of argument about whether it was actually any good or not, whether one’s opinions were based on Incorrect Reasons, and whether or not adults spending decades obsessing over children’s entertainment is wise.*

*I exclude myself from none of this meta criticism

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But then of course I would…

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Ich kann nicht Amtdeutsch sprechen. :slight_smile:

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Ahem.

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“And let’s talk about intake hazards.What about this thermal exhaust port? That’s foreign object damage just waiting to happen.”

“I find your lack of permits, disturbing.”

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“Can we get a storm trooper to make a quick run to home depot and get a 2meter by 2meter sheet of plywood and cover that up? I mean, yeah, bad solution, but we shouldn’t just leave it like this until we come up with a better solution”

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I kinda love the idea of Galactic history turning on a stormtrooper not realizing Home Depot closes early on Sunday.

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/Palps on the phone with a contractor/

“You can’t get the supplies until Monday?.. Really?.. Goddamit, just plug the hole with Wookiees!.. NO I DON’T WANT YOU TO GO OUT TO KASHYYYK AND GET MORE WOOKIEES FOR THIS, WE ALREADY HAVE WHAT? How many? On site.”

/Darth Vader mumbling/ “Forty Thousand Five Hundred Eighteen”

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Just don’t sit in the Captain’s chair.

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It could be fun to see Rogue Squadron tackle a new target like the Death Star, and take it down by using their targeting computers; rather than relying on space magic.

“Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid.”

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That actually would be part of the authorisation process, somewhat down the list from zoning and codes and veering into H&S territory.

(And don’t get me started on the obvious stuff you see in all SF films. Like walkways across veritable chasms without any sort of railings, and, and, and…1))

The Death Star would be a tricky one2); in part because it technically would also fall under the regulations for temporary structures (“Fliegende Bauten”, I kid you not).

1) Ken Adam once said that the trickiest set he ever designed was the one for an exhibition of his work at the Martin-Gropius-Bau in Berlin 2002/2003. A good part of the set was a structure within the building accessible to the punters, i.e. the general public, so all the regular building codes applied. (Film sets are more like building sites. You don’t have random people just ambling in, not knowing about the Dos and Don’ts. Different set of rules.) But apparently the local authorities were quite helpful and cooperative, and everything just turned out nicely

2) This just might morph into a side project for the upcoming months of sitting home alone (SO is still shacked up in Austria. Long story). I’ll probably have to read up on space law a bit and make some bold assumptions, but it might be fun to work out how a planning application for a Death Star would have to look like in order to be approved.

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nbbcgTw

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I can forgive the 1977 Death Star, because it was barely out of construction, and some of the corridors we see were only for rare maintenance inspections. The pylon that Ben went to as a way of disabling the tractor beam wasn’t intended to be accessed, and even then it’s the sort of thing you send a 'droid to do. It was a military installation that was built in relative secrecy, no inspectors, and most of the construction was probably done by 'droids and automated machinery. We see little to no maintenance crews, only the garrisoned stormtroopers and the techs in charge of the new, still prototypical superlaser.

Cloud City seemed to have more guardrails, less ways to fall off the edge unless you did like Luke, and wandered into areas where normal people weren’t supposed to go. And the bridges of the star destroyers, the increase in risk of someone falling into the crew pits probably was a commander’s idea, who felt guard rails were for sissies. Still a (slightly) plausible exception, as the Imperial Navy was supposed to be disdainful of the value of life.

It wasn’t until later that it went from “exception that we see all the time” to “this is part of the aesthetic”. See also how Kirk as written in TOS went from nebbish, thoughtful commander to the caricature of a womaniser that would have put James Bond to shame.

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Show me the paperwork for the acceptance tests and we’ll talk. Otherwise, just no. It was “fully operational” - Grand Moff Tarkin’s words, not mine - at the time. And that can’t happen (legally) without a flawless final inspection.
This includes parts like service corridors. Anything that is supposed to be accessed by personnel, however rare, has to be safe. And in my book, that includes droids. Sure, you’d adapt the rules for droids that are specifically designed for certain jobs (like say for industrial climbers). But that would mean waiving regular safety rules and putting in specific safety rules for those jobs.

And while I’m at it, those Jefferies tubes look very dodgy, too. Not to mention the constant cavalier violation of basic safety precautions.

This is why we need unions in spaaaaace!

(At some point they will be so out of ideas that there will be a Star Wars film about the litigation between The Empire and it’s contractors about the design flaw that led to the destruction of the first Death Star.)

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Not to mention the catering staff

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Paperwork? General, I have declared it fully operational. If I say it is so, it is so!

Inspectors, pah! Those remnants of Republic red tape have been made toothless, we are now free to deploy as we wish!

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38137-26285_phixr_phixr (1)

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