Nice people catch a baby bear falling from a tree

Flick through the images for the bizarre caption on the third.

(Cousteau, voice over): ze octopus, she is a lovely treat, but this little fellow who 'as made his home in a discarded cup, 'e is not yet ripe. We playfully engage with him, presenting a selection of-

(narration breaks off, replaced by sound so low and so vast that it fills the universe)

(Cousteau, voice over): Qu’est çe que c’est ça? Non… ça ne peut pas… non, non!! Mon Dieu!!

(The video shivers with static as the sound rises out of the depths. Slowly, a rhythmic pattern resolves.)

Iä! Iä! Cthulhu fhtagn! Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgahnagl fhtagn!

(Strangled screaming and the sound of something thrashing through shallow water. For a fraction of a second there is a flash of a giant, golden eye, glaring out of the screen, then it is gone, leaving only the skirling madness of the void in its wake.)

 

…and humanity was never heard from again.

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From just looking at the thumbnail, I was thinking that it was a form of the blanket toss game!

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So… off-topic, but true story… I went to Lollapalooza… 95? They were doing the old blanket toss thing, I was going to do it, and then this one person got tossed and came crashing down to the ground (landing too far on one side) which ended those shenanigans. The paramedics came and took them away. Found out later, the person died.

Counterpoint (NSFW):

(there are several versions of their version, but it cracks me up every time… reminds me of my family at funerals… of course, it’s Derek and Clive originally)

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AFP for the win!

Wow, I’ve never heard of a fatal case of blanket toss. That’s terrible. Glad you didn’t take part if there was that much risk.

I had a similar experience, by proxy, regarding trampolines. We were at a party; there was a trampoline; kids were playing on it. It was missing some important safety features. My kids asked if they could play on it, and I told them, “no, you’ll break your arm.” Moments later, a friend’s son missed the surface, hit the edge and rolled off. He broke his arm. At once my kids looked at me like I was Gandalf, but I felt horrible, like I had summoned the accident by naming it.

Also, Ben Folds:

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Nah, you did not summon that into being… as a kid, one of my neighbors had one, and one day when they weren’t home, me and another friend was playing on it, and the same thing happened to me, although it ended up not being a broke arm, it just hurt… Trampolines can be death traps…

But… counterpoint:

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See, that’s an example of a safe trampoline. If you fall off, the Venn diagram catches you!

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Exactly! Where was Neil G. when I needed that venn diagram to stop landing wrong on that trampoline! Why is Neil hoarding the venn diagrams!

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Cthulhu%2C%20Lord%20and%20Savior

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When I was a kid our neighbors, a couple of 20 something roomies (maybe a couple, I was too young and unaware to evaluate) had what at that small age was a huge trampoline. My dad asked if we and some of the other neighborhood kids could use it, and the 20 somethings were cool as long as adults were on scene to monitor. Anyway, at one point a friend and I snuck on to their backyard and proceeded to use it un-chaparoned. Poor life choice. We were however prevented from injuring ourselves. All I can say is that a fire extinguisher puts our a lot of foam. I don’t think we ever returned.

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winona-maths-what

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