I didnāt type that. You did. Here is what I typed:
If you cannot read the latter part of this thread and see instantly what Iām talking about, I donāt know if I can explain it any better. I can lead you to the water, but you have to want to drinkā¦ people have to be willing to set aside rage and combativeness for some tiny amount of time, just long enough to willingly try to see what other people are repeatedly trying to tell them.
One example, the one that triggered this entire derail: @strugglngwriter, apparently unfamiliar with the way bOINGbOING works lately, tried to make a point in which he unfortunately used the phrase āLetās take race out of itā. In context, this was a completely innocuous statement; it has to be taken out of context in order to offend. Itās a normal part of intellectual discourse to examine both the parts and the whole of any object of discussion. But thatās not OK, here - so he was chastised for not using the phrase dead black man in his post. He didnāt use the special, perfect wording to express his proposal that putting cameras on police will not stop them from killing black men with impunity. Thatās what he wanted to talk about - he wanted to point out problems with the proposition that cameras will help bring about social justice - but for others it became more important to belittle him than to address the idea that he was trying to share, it became far more important to be oppositional and confrontational than it was to communicate, because apparently he hadnāt used the special right words, he apparently hadnāt singled out the right minority for special recognition. And this is not even an egregious example - such behavior is commonplace on bOINGbOING these days.
Me, Iām absurdly over-educated, but Iām not a great writer or communicator. And I was raised to be post-racist - my parents were both born into deeply racist cultures, which they purposely and knowingly rejected, teaching my siblings and I from birth to judge people by the content of their character. But I do not live in a post-racist world. So itās inevitable that I am going to occasionally say things that depart from any expected norm. (Sometimes my daughter will roll her eyes and say āwhite peopleā exasperatedly when I phrase something particularly poorly, which always makes our non-white friends fall down laughing.) But people can choose to try to understand my point, which might be dead wrong or badly expressed, before starting ad hominem attacks. They could even choose to try to point out errors in my thinking or composition in ways that might lead me to greater understanding, or teach me to say things in better ways, instead of joyfully and intentionally misunderstanding me, with the obvious intention of designating me as an outlet for their own rage and discontent.
When we turned the nation around on marriage equality, we did not do it by rejecting and belittling the mainstream Christians. We took a dispassionate look at their value system and worked it to our advantage - we took the āstanding on the side of loveā campaign into their churches, and tore the scriptural ground out from under their preachers of hatred. In less than five years we did more than 20 years of confrontation could have done alone (confrontation is also important -we needed the Gay Pride parades too. But we needed more than just oppositional defiance. The Panthers and Weathermen needed MLK, just like he needed the Deacons.)
Sites that run on perpetuating the cycles of discrimination and confrontation are self-defeating; driving away people because they donāt conform to your perfect model of phrasing is just limiting the reach of your own voice.
Iām honestly sorry if I still havenāt written it well enough to get my point across to you. But I hope you understand that there are ideas here in my skull that I would like to share, and that attacking the way Iāve expressed them is not something to which I will respond positively.