I love it: Going Back on No Going Back.
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She’s such an unreliable narrator that at this point it wouldn’t surprise me to learn she made up the dog too.
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I had assumed that the book’s title was a reference to her experience with Native American reservations in South Dakota.
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She can see North Korea from her house!
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Sadly, this garbage will get her even more air time, from both sides.
Great success!
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Did you meet with Kim Jong-Un?
Everyone’s focusing on that and killing Cricket. Look, no, I didn’t shoot my dog. But I do think you need to make those hard decisions. If someone isn’t bringing you value, you have to get rid of them. No more Democrat free rides! That’s what’s ruining our country!
But… you said you met with him and you didn’t.
Joe Biden says he’s the president of the United States, and he didn’t get elected. Why aren’t you talking about that?
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My favorite chapter is where she interviews Winston Churchill and George Washington in the Library of Alexandria.
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She narrated the audiobook of it, so she must have done.
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When I worked in DC, I was regularly expected to put in time off the clock sitting at book events for folks for whom it’d “look bad” if the numbers of butts in seats didn’t like up with the numbers the book was doing. People from NGO A would have their buddy the staff attorney at NGO B corral a bunch of fellows to go listen intently to some neoliberal garbage talk while said staff attorney used the privacy of an empty office to get white girl wasted off the little mini bar they’d installed in their desk to take the edge off knowing you’ll never go back to biglaw or find a better place of work because your allies view you as a sellout and your enemies are annoyed your pretending to have scuples makes them go through extra work to push bad policy.
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“Little tyrant”? But he is trump’s bff …
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Trump is a BIG tyrant! The BIGGEST!
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Are we sure she didn’t hire an impersonator? It would be highly on-brand for a Republican to hire someone else to read the book she didn’t write and take credit for it all… reading a book would hurt their conservative cred, after all.
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Fantasy follow-up questioning:
“Could you at least tell us the names of the other world leaders you’ve meet with?”
“I’m not going to talk about my specific meetings with world leaders.”
“I’m not asking that you tell us about the meetings… just the names.”
“I’m not going to talk about my specific meetings with world leaders.”
“But you seemed okay mentioning Kim Jun Un. Why not the others?”
“I’m… uh, not… going… to… uuhhhhh…”
Noem’s handler jumps in: “We’re running late for that meeting. We should leave right now.”
"You mean the one with that world leader?
“Yes.”
“So sorry, all! Gotta rush to that meeting with another world leader!”
On camera: Noem-shaped puff of smoke appears where Noem had been seated.
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Honestly, at this point I’m just waiting for the reveal she actually made up Kristi Noem entirely and is really George Santos
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Oh, to live on a timeline where that was the only answer that made sense, and “Far-right populist and fascist dickheads are turning up everywhere” was far-fetched.
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“CEOs, hardworking servants of the people” seems like her signature instinct for what will play well with the crowd kicking in again…
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