No More Prizes in Cracker Jack :(

Oh it has been a few years. I get their decaf tea regularly as having kicked that monkey off my back I pay attention to my intake now. I haven’t got a figure in a box for a long time.

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No nostalgia here: Cracker Jacks are a seriously stale popcorn snack by the time they’re retailed. As a 5 year old, the “prize”, usually bad temporary tattoos, intrigued me. My mother ate the shitty popcorn. After about the age of 7, Cracker Jacks went unopened or my mother still ate the shitty popcorn and I ignored the tattoos.

I had one of those! We had to send away for it, though. A box top and a quarter, or something; I remember my father wrapping the coin so it wasn’t lost in the mail.

It came with a bag of white powder . . . baking powder or something.

Decades later, I paid the favor forward, and got my nieces diving submarines that were a promotion for the “Atlantis” cartoon. The subs were shaped like the vehicles in the film and were pretty cool.

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And now you can just get them from the toy store. Still just as fun and they look a lot better.

Darmok and Jalad, at Tenagra.
Shaka, when the walls fell.
Captain Crunch, and the baking soda submarine.

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Fiddle Faddle and Screaming Yellow Zonkers are also superior alternatives to Cracker Jack.

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And that example was meant to dissuade you?

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Wait, what? A cereal-based Doomalike? This was really a thing?

Yes and I am sad I lost my copy. It was quite fun.

ETA

Charles Jacobi - Gamer's Page has a download.

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This is so ham-fisted that I can only assume it is a deliberate attempt at a New Coke moment.

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Now you’ve put it in my head… damn, I’d totally pay $4 for a Hostess fruit pie right now.

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You can get pie slice from the bakery for that and it will be much tastier.

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Crikey I hope that’s a toy prop, because her trigger control is nonexistent. Even with the safety on…

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You win the internets today!

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Sorry, no clue. I stole it from somewhere. Both the rifle, and separately the clip that’s in it, are illegal in my state, though not in many others. (The Kinder Egg is illegal federally.)

That’s leaving aside the point: that bad trigger control or no, she’s breaking no federal laws, and the boy is. Crazy.

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Agree with you completely. Oh the irony.

Of course, in Texas, there are plenty of people who would look at the rifle and just holler “hay-ull yeah! that’s freedom for you!” and grouse about how Nanny State gummint is all unnecessarily up in people’s business meddling with chocolate eggs. “Give 'em the dang eggs!” I can hear my inner-construct-Texas-Tea-Partier say. (NB: I ain’t one. There’s a reason I live in Austin.)

Btw my oma and opa used to send us grandkids Kinder Schokolade and Milka chocolate along with Gummi Bears at xmas time (in the 1970s). Whenever I see Kinder® chocolate I think about my funny ol’ German family folk back in Bavaria.

I didn’t even discover Cracker Jack until I moved out of my parents’ house and started college!

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If you still like to play “find the prize” in your foods, there’s a discussion about it on Chowhound. I was there looking up King Cakes and other hidden treasures in foods:

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I may have had the same one…
The joke that I recall was
What do newly weds wan’t for supper?
Lettuce alone.

I hear King Cake and remember the taste of blood from that hard plastic baby slashing up my gums.

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Yeah, but when you find the prize in the king cake your reward is having to pay for the next cake. It’s only really fun when you’re still a kid and your parents have to buy the cake anyway .

However, king cake nom.

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