Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2019/11/18/no-one-believes-prince-andrew.html
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“I couldn’t have been where they said I was, because I remember distinctly that I was getting pizza, as any normal, royal suburban dad does” whispers to aide; “what’s ‘pizza’?”
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Thanks for stopping by Andrew. Have a girl?
Four days later…
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“I don’t remember that photo being taken.”
“You can’t prove whether the photo is authentic or not.”
Jesus Christ.
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Andy’s just counting on those videos and photos that Epstein took for his blackmail scam never surfacing. Hey, miracles can happen, just like the two cameras on Epstein’s cell suddenly going on the blink at the same time while the guards stepped away.
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Obligatory: #EDKH
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My Scottish neighbor says Prince Andy is “bollocks”, I think that means he’s full of shit…
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Lying through his babyfucking teeth.
“Unable to sweat” my geriatric ass.
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If someone said that Andrew’s explanation was bollocks, I’d take that to mean Andrew was lying. But if they called Andrew bollocks then that’s a little different. The difference between “Andrew is full of shit” and “Andrew is shit”.
(If I were making a sit com right now I’d definitely include a Scottish Neighbour character sort of like Wilson from Home Improvement except all they ever do is yell “Bollocks!”)
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Nobody heads over to another person’s house for four days just to break up with them unless they’re looking for four days of breakup sex.
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I’ll enquire if he’d like the job…
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I’m just amazed that this interview was allowed by … the royal PR machine? The queen? How could this have NOT gone badly?
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As my Vampire GM would say, “If you’re going to actively lie in this game, you better have the stats to pull it off. Otherwise everyone is going to know you’re lying.”
He’d be better served making releasing an apology and then going away for a year.
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Sorry, definitely hiring a guy from Brooklyn with a horrible fake Scottish accent.
And here I am thinking about Scottish neighbours and doding the actual topic. Which, really, what the hell? Right now there are probably more people in the world who think Prince Andrew had Epstein assassinated in prison than there are who think Prince Andrew is innocent of child rape by a factor of 100 or 1000. Hide under a rock until you die and hope they don’t arrest you.
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Sound advice, you 'da human!
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Whenever I break up with a friend in person, it always takes FIVE days. Kudos to the prince for being able to do it in four.
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Your Scottish neighbour is correct; Prince Entitled IS bollocks! You are correct; this means he IS full of shit! 
Sadly for him, he still thinks he is an important Royal and that people should respect him. This is the odious self-entitled creep who insisted that both his non-entity daughters should get the full Sussex/Cambridge wedding fol-de-rol at huge expense to the state and very little entertainment value to the nation. TV stations even refused to televise these nuptials, so little interest was there. But still he had to have them. The world’s most embarrassing Dad? Sadly there’s much competition and no doubt the minor ‘princesses’ had a great time, anyway.
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That’s how you know he’s an aristocrat, and you are a filthy plebe.
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