Oklahoma schools now require "every classroom in the state" to teach the Bible (video)

Having a bible in every classroom would not be that bad. It would give teachers something to use as a door stop, to prop up wobbly desks, or to weigh down paperwork if there’s a draught. It might be useful to step on to reach high shelves, or to swat obnoxious insects. You could even burn it for warmth if the heating breaks down in winter.

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I’m sorry, we, as a country, are fucking doomed.

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The stupidity is escalating. First we had Louisiana very cunningly* pretending the 10 Commandments aren’t religious, so it’s totes okay, it’s about history (while publicly talking about how the whole point is to teach kids what God wants them to do), now we’ve got Oklahoma just out there saying, “Yep, we’re teaching the Bible in public schools! Whatever!”

*“Cunning”
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I know this shit is just performative money-wasting shit by Republicans doing empty culture war posturing, but even within that context, it’s still stupid.

I did exactly that in my AP English class in high school - we spent some time on the particular bits of the Bible that get all the literary references. (My takeaway: I knew the general outline of the stories, but reading the text, I realized… damn, this god’s a dick.) Nothing’s stopping anyone from doing it now, and of course that’s certainly not what the legislature have in mind… at all.

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episode 8 bullshit GIF by RuPaul's Drag Race

If we let this shit happen, and pretend like we’re helplesss in the face of a loud, vocal, sometime violent minority in this country… sure. If people give up and let them kill trans kids and force women to die in pregnancy, and reinstate jim crow, then yeah, we are fucked. Or, we could fight back as best we can and rally people to the cause of letting these people know that this kind of thing is unacceptable and why.

The choice is up to you.

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They can…

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Unhelpful.

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Yeah, that god’s an evil thug gangster. Fuck that guy.

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It was Job in particular that really drove it home…

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Oh, I see; teach the Biblical version of Human Anatomy. Nice!

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Job was originally a Bedouin epic.

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https://www.smbc-comics.com/comics/20140901.png

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Yup, it would be a real shame if kids in Oklahoma were given access to lists of cringey stuff in the Bible they could bring up in class. Or were able to point out the various scientifically impossible parts of the Noah’s Ark story. I mean, they have wise-ass kids in Oklahoma, don’t they?

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Proverbs, maybe not. Genesis, an elementary or middle school math class problem? Sure. What’s the volume of Noah’s Ark is one such problem given its dimensions. Another counting problem, if there are < some number> types of clean beasts, < some number> types of unclean beasts, and < some number> types of fowls of the air, how many beasts boarded Noah’s Ark?

From gutenberg.org, Genesis 6:15:

And this is the fashion which thou shalt make it of: The length of the ark shall be three hundred cubits, the breadth of it fifty cubits, and the height of it thirty cubits.

and Genesis 7:1-3:

And the LORD said unto Noah, Come thou and all thy house into the ark; for thee have I seen righteous before me in this generation.

Of every clean beast thou shalt take to thee by sevens, the male and his female: and of beasts that are not clean by two, the male and his female.

Of fowls also of the air by sevens, the male and the female; to keep seed alive upon the face of all the earth.

And figuring out how long it was between the births of two people mentioned in the Bible given how many “begats” there were and assuming the begetting took place at a certain age.

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Frankly, Shakespeare is great but mostly applicable to the Anglo-Saxon diaspora. A French speaking population would look at Moliere. A really good curriculum would include both, and contrasting material from Japanese Kabuki and Noh, Chinese opera, the water puppetry of Vietnam, and other dramatic traditions I’m completely unfamiliar with.

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Perhaps these might be the bibles that they want?
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The culture war is almost over, and they have lost. Badly.

Religious affiliation is plummeting, with nearly 30% of the US population identifying as “none” regarding religious affiliation.

Meanwhile, church attendance is dropping off a cliff, especially among younger people. Christianity is moving in the direction of Europe, and this frightens them.

Their cultural relevance is mostly done, and their political power is slipping away. They know that this is their last chance to grab power now, which is why they are passing all these horrible laws, and why they are abandoning democracy.

It is also why this is a very dangerous time: power never cedes itself gracefully.

Eta: I owe a tall cool one to both @dfaris and @MerelyGifted

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Escaping from slavery by people who had a different religion to those they enslaved, too. No idea how that could be applicable in the USA, though. /s

It must be beaten out of them, though, in repugnicon theology, no doubt.

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Except creation “science” is not science. It’s anout trying to cherry pick facts to pack around lies to “prove” the conclusion they started with. It’s as much anout science as Moms for Liberty is about liberty!

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It’s a perfectly logical “solid English lit” inclusion; along with being pretty relevant to anything from very late classical to modern European(in the fairly expansive sense that includes things like the eastern Roman Empire, Russia, and the rhetorical and ideological grounding for various imperialist and missionary projects all over the place); and also relevant to most philosophy surveys that aren’t keeping it strictly classical, on the dry logical side of modern to contemporary, or very closely to the cool kids postmodern stuff).

I know I picked up at least 4 different copies between highschool and a (sadly aborted) undergrad trajectoy that would be described as “definitely kind of ‘Western’-focused; but thoroughly secular”.

It’s just that that’s never what it means when a noted culture warrior, enemy of woke, Moms for Liberty and PragerU pal means when they say that “the Bible”(because it’s an unambiguous and undisputed text that exists in a single definitive edition; amirite?) will be taught in every classroom.

Nor do those sorts ever seem desperately happy about the treatment biblical sources receive when they do show up in the places that subject matter relevance would dictate. They don’t necessarily prioritize being angry about that(it would be tactical and strategic lunacy to, say, freak out about the curriculum of some small secular private schools when that’s a major distraction from trying to stuff sectanrian propaganda into public curriculum or systematically undermine public education generally so that various jesus-and-segregation ‘academies’ can pick up the pieces); but they are never satisfied by “why yes, shockingly enough the activities and writings of substantially christian societies are more readily understood if you know the texts they are referring to(or, across the board in areas of low literacy, more especially in traditionalist catholic ones; how their knowledge of the text was inculcated and mediated by specialist religious functionaries)”-type bible-in-curriculum.

The smarter ones don’t say it in so many words, because it makes the litigation harder; but it’s always a demand for some fairly transparently sectarian heil jesus flavor of bible study; sometimes along with an insistence on curriculum that’s not only ‘west’ focused; but basically implies that everyone who wasn’t ‘west’ was eating mud and banging rocks together until Europe developed the naval architecture expertise required to go discover them.

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Beatings will continue until church attendance improves.

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