Sorta related…
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Sparlock the Warrior-Wizard casts a tiny violin spell just for them.
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Finally something that keeps the Witnesses indoors but shit the price is way too high.
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They’re highly mistaken; like many others, I was already ignoring them and not answering the door whenever they come knocking for decades before the Corona virus struck.
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As a teenager I once accidentally opened the door to them after a huge bong hit with a copy of the Celestine Prophecy in my hand.
“Have you read about your next life?”
*cough “Yeah, have you read this?”
I held it out for them to read but they left.
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Well, I take it back, some of the protesters are apparently sincere. “Fine people”, even.
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*LMAO
We so have to get together for brunch somehow, after all this is over.
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Hell yeah. One day! 
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Thank you.
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It wouldn’t be the first time Lloyd’s Names failed to realise they might have to pay out (asbestosis, Piper Alpha and a whole bunch of others).
Or that someone flat out decided to take the money and well, I’d say - run - but it’s more a case of circling round and taking some more money.
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This is terrifying if true. The contention is that the curve appears to be flattening in the US only because testing is at capacity.
Edited for spelling
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“How did you keep the numbers so low?”
“We just… stopped counting…”
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There was a guy handing out bibles in front of our high school, and a few of us went over, got them, tore out little bits and put them on out tongue like blotter right in front of the guy, and were like
“Duuuude. I can feel the religionstarting already!”
The best one I didn’t actually get to see in person. I was living in a college apartment, and the Jehova’s witnesses came by on a Saturday morning and woke me up from a hangover. I was pretty short with them, but I had the presence of mind to call up my goth friends who lived across the way and warn them before I dragged myself back to bed. When the witnesses came by their apartment, my friends were already dressed up and ready, and they got invited inside to talk and walked into an ongoing satanic S&M orgy.
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I love that one! I yelled back in glee when she did it.
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