OREO built an asteroid-proof Oreo bunker in the Arctic

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2020/10/28/oreo-built-an-asteroid-proof-oreo-bunker-in-the-arctic.html

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Very funny. But honestly, this would be a way more useful things to me than the seed vault. Maybe a cookie vault that stores every kind of cookie, for posterity.

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Finally I’ll be able to get some sleep!

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I’ll give Oreo all my money if the first person to actually show up at 78°08’58.1"N, 16°01’59.7"E finds a looping audio recording demanding that they drink more Ovaltine.

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really hoping for a Hydrox-backed infilatration and takeover, even if it just plays out on twitter.

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Powdered milk? Way to ruin cookies, Oreo.

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Asteroid proof or just asteroid resistant?

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Asteroid indifferent, more like. Still, a well painted piece of stud wall and plasterboard will be a nice place to watch the end of the world from.

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Powdered Milk’s Favorite… I Don’t Know. I Guess? Does it Even Matter Anymore? I’m Fucking Powdered Milk.

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My guess is it cost a couple of hundred bucks for the digital artist and perhaps a few hundred more to get an artist (or prepper?) to package the cookies up…

(Oddly, my last pack of Oreos came in a Mylar bag anyway. A little bit better packaging (thicker Mylar, no quick open perforations that breach the Mylar, and an oxygen absorber sachet) and the cookies would probably last a lot longer… (Years? Decades?) I mean, in some ways, I’m kind of surprised that they don’t do this already for logistics purposes. (Although the shelf life is probably already months…))

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Well, I see Project Thanatos has reached Phase IV.

…I’ve said too much.

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OBVIOUS FAKE. It showed a Norwegian person eating a hearty lunch! No true Norwegian eats a lunch like that.

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Mine Shaft Gap__Oreo bunker gap__FGD135

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LOL. “It’s not supposed to taste anything, it should be a disappointment when you open it up and eat it, you are not supposed to look forward to your lunch”.

My wife overheard this and remarked “how Lutheran” :laughing:

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It wasn’t exactly constructed on the scale of the global seed vault. Looks like a glorified concrete storage shed. As publicity stunts go, I’m sure it wasn’t that big an investment.

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“A polar bear. That’s a first.” :rofl:

As noted above, stud and plasterboard, painted. Maybe even some OSB. Look, you can still see the joins!

unironically, seed vaults are pretty terrible at their job. What rats don’t eat disintegration any way as time goes by. DNA in the seeds doesn’t have a very long shelf life and will be unusable.
Much better to just sequence the DNA and store it digitally, then in the future should we need it, we can clone it.

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Given their packaging, how long will a package last in an ordinary home? I’ll run a test on this package here.

30 minutes. That’s it.

I guess they will last longer if you hide them all up above the Arctic Circle.

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Maybe so, but I’m not sure about that part. You can get a very similar appearance with poured concrete; the real seed vault sure isn’t plywood but from a distance the rectangular lines left by the forms the concrete was poured into might be mistaken for painted board.