Package thief tries to swipe doorbell camera


Originally published at:


In before people siding with the package thief.


I wish everyone would stop calling package thieves “porch pirates.” It sounds cool and they don’t deserve a cool-sounding title.


We have a similar system watching the second / retirement home in Joshua Tree, it’s f’ing hilarious the looks on peoples faces when they realize they are being recorded, despite the 10 or so signs that state that very fact…


Stealing packages seems like a dumb crime to me as far as the risk-vs-reward goes. Of the last ten things I’ve had delivered, I can’t think of a single one that would be valuable to somebody else. Is going to jail (or getting shot by a homeowner or mauled by a dog) worth my cat food or 3D printer filament deliveries?


I love how his attempt to steal the camera means that his hand blocks the lightest part of the image, causing the auto-exposure to readjust, making it easier to see his face


I use my doorbell camera as a sort of scumbag test. I have it notify on motion. So far it’s been 100% on the people who ring the doorbell and look at the camera being worth answering the door for. Every person that avoids the doorbell have been rude, pushy and not worth my time.


It’s California. It’s a misdemeanor and nothing will happen to the guy even if they know who he is. Prop 47 reduced property crimes under $950 to misdemeanors so it’s no longer worth the effort of prosecuting them, resulting in a lot more package theft and car break ins.


Doorway Douchebags?
Vestibule Vermin?
Foyer Fuckers?


What’s wrong with “package pinchers?”


Did he really try though? He jiggled it for no more than a second and a half.

Package thievery is the laziest of crimes. Put in some effort, hoodlums.


That kinda depends on who delivers the package. Amazon uses the U.S. mail quite a bit. Under United States Code 18 Section 1708, federal mail theft is a felony and you could face up to five years in federal prison and fines of up to $250,000. That would be in addition to the year in prison and $1000 fine for violating California’s mail theft law.


I get my most of my packages delivered to my work or an amazon locker because of these fuckwits.
The last thing stolen before I started doing this was definitely a waste of the thieves time:


Nah, too nice. Got to get the derogatory modifier in there.


Christ, what an asshole.


Also, by grabbing the doorbell like that, he likely left behind nice fingerprints.


Do you have any facts that say that theft of, say, a $100 a package from a porch was a felony before Prop 47?

Package theft, while abominable, doesn’t strike me as inherently felonious unless the package or packages are worth more than a significant amount.


Maybe the police will care and actually fingerprint the door because this was on TV, but my experience has been that the will just file a report for “Insurance purposes” and not actually try and find this guy.

I had a car stolen, the thief left the pry bar that he used to break the ignition in the floor of the passenger seat, and he cut himself rather badly and bled all over the car, leaving bloody fingerprints all over I could see with my naked eye. The cops did nothing. What a set of buffoons.


Next there will be upgraded security software for doorbell camera owners. It would send those prints to law enforcement agencies, search for a match, and keep them on file in case they are dealing with a serial swiper.


Unless it’s door-knocking evangelical preachers package-pinching as a sideline, returning to the scene of the crime, in which case you know it’s gotta be someone playing your sweet song again, some kind of Felonious Monk.
h/t to Terry Pratchett, who did it much better in Soul Music.