My dad was on a business trip by ship when the captain asked him if he’d be interested in taking home a pet parrot. Someone on the staff had owned it, but they had passed away. My dad said he’d think about it as the captain left. Then a nearby guy came over, seated himself, and asked my dad if he had kids. My dad said he did. “Buddy, you don’t want this parrot then. It was the head of the engine room’s parrot before he passed away. This thing has a mouth on it that would make the devil blush. And it never shuts up. We’re going to find it a home next port since the captain hates it. Please, for the sake of your marriage, don’t take that parrot.”
I still think about that parrot, hopefully still barking orders and swearing enough to make the devil blush.
Disappointed the article doesn’t include quotations. WHICH swear words?!
At least it’s not talking snakes. Our reptiles never spoke. Whew.
I had a parrot in college named Bird. We made a tape loop of George Carlin’s seven words you can’t say on television and played it constantly when in class for Bird. He mastered all seven.
I asked my folks to bird sit for spring break and my Mom said, “Let’s put him in the den where we spend the most time.” You can guess how that went over.
When we returned from spring break, Bird was way back in the laundry room with his sheet pulled over his cage. My Mom said Bird was the filthiest bird she’d ever met.
Years ago, a housemate bought a baby parrot. My housemate and her partner wanted to teach the parrot to say things like “Ooo sexy” and to wolf whistle. But the parrot wasn’t having any of it. Much to the chagrin of my housemate, my crowning achievement was that I taught the parrot to crow like a rooster which was pretty much the only thing it learned. And then I moved out of the house. Mic drop.
NSFW
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