Peek into the digital habits of 13 year olds shows desire for privacy, face-to-face time

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Nope, not doing it. I’m not peeking into the digital habits of any 13-year-old. I’m not their parent, and I learned, a long time ago, to respect other people’s privacy.

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This is simply unacceptable. Kids Today are supposed to have been fundamentally warped and either damaged(if mine/ones I care about) or depraved(if the spawn of those people) by a malevolent combination of technology I don’t understand, music I don’t like, and whatever aspect of popular culture pisses me off.

Minions! Go fetch me some more agreeable data!


Interesting, and I sidetracked in the reviews to one by Dorothy Holland, listed as co-author of Identity and Agency in Cultural Worlds which looks interesting.

Did nobody notice the irony of the headline?


No, I did. ;-p

I also noticed the irony of this:

As adults and parents, we might spend less time worrying about what they get up to as teenagers and more time with them, discussing the challenges that lie ahead for them as adults in an increasingly connected world.

in a paragraph so close after this:

Digital devices and the uses they put them to have become teenagers’ way of asserting their agency – a shield from bossy parents …

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I’d argue that there’s a difference between spending time with someone (doing a project, chatting, having dinner, whatever) and being told what to do/grilled on what you’re not doing/being told how to live your life/being told what you’re going to chose to do with whatever issue you’re facing.

I’m an adult, and my mom can (and does) try both modes of interaction, and trust me when I say I don’t pick up the phone to call all that much when she’s in Mode #2. I’d imagine the same applies to teenagers - spend time interacting with them as people, not as projects you’ve taken on and are managing. Might work wonders.


Exactly. Projects, making cookies, sewing, doing whatever they like with them - even playing games online - but not “discussing the challenges that lie ahead for them as adults,” or they’ll roll their eyes so far into their heads that they’d go blind.


I find that a lot of ‘dealing with teenagers’ advice can be evaluated via the question ‘if someone treated me like that, would I be resentful and sulky and act like the stereotypical teenager?’ If the answer is yes, switch mode of behavior.

A lot of the time, behavior that parents/teachers describe as sulky and uncooperative makes me go, well, if you tried to give me a bedtime/inspect my purse (for no reason - if a kid has known drug issues or something, different standards)/enforce hang-outs/tell me what I’m going to be doing in the next 10 years/know everything about my relationship with my partner and insist that it’s your business… like, dude, I’d be sulky and resentful and hiding everything I possibly could from you as well. Can’t blame the kid for acting rationally. Change how you act!


Gee turns out kids are people too.

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