Planning for the apocalypse


Yep, that’ll repel the roaming gangs of looters!


I still think bagpipes work better as a weapon.


“So you see, Mudhead? With counter-subversive educational priorities the way they are, well, it really helps our side to re-enlist!”

“Is that what you’re gonna do?”

“Aw, hell no! Right after I graduate, I’m gonna cut the soles off my shoes, sit in a tree and learn to play the flute!”


It’s hard to kill a horse with a flute.

Sharpen it, tie it to a shaft, and you have a crude spear. Try that with a piano.


If I’m strong enough to wield a piano as a weapon, I probably don’t need it :stuck_out_tongue:

My reference was to the movie Circle of Iron. It’s a line spoken by one of the four characters played by the late David Caradine.

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Did I miss something? The linked article seems to be even more devoid of content than usual.

I think the violin/fiddle is the traditional instrument for these occasions.

I like how the writer expects an inevitable apocalypse, but at the same time assumes that civilisation will continue to be much the same as today in the part of the world that he chooses to live. Canada will still have universally affordable healthcare, people and systems will adapt well to massive changes in things like the availability of resources and the huge inrush of climate refugees won’t affect things too noticeably. While I’d agree that cities provide the most sustainable solution now, I’m not sure I’d want to be in a city centre apartment if things really went downhill.

What has Zizek been saying about this shit? We can’t think of alternatives to our current situation, so we’re all dreaming about it going up in flames, so we can rebuild from the start? Mayhaps the Elvis of philosophy is right on this count?


It is easier to imagine the end of the world than the end of capitalism.

Think about the strangeness of today's situation. Thirty, forty years ago, we were still debating about what the future will be: communist, fascist, capitalist, whatever. Today, nobody even debates these issues. We all silently accept global capitalism is here to stay. On the other hand, we are obsessed with cosmic catastrophes: the whole life on earth disintegrating, because of some virus, because of an asteroid hitting the earth, and so on. So the paradox is, that it's much easier to imagine the end of all life on earth than a much more modest radical change in capitalism. - Žižek

Ah, but you forget the humble garrote. Just need a wrench with a 6mm hex socket, pruning shears, and maybe a pair of those rubber gripping bands that help you open jar lids.

Those tools are easily schlepped in a backpack. If you have access to a crane or a block and tackle, the piano is easily surpassing the flute as a lethal weapon.

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The post-apocalypse is not meant for disabled people like me. I can’t help but wonder if the ‘apocalypse’ is right-wing America’s Aktion T4.

(Yes, I have Godwinned. I don’t care.)


Good point, my brain kept serving me with images of piano on a chain, spun up in the air. I completely forgot about the simple portable way!

A garrote can be hidden in a piece of garment, or in e.g. wristwatch, or a belt buckle. The string can be taken from a guitar, too; these are more common than pianos, too. There are so many ways how to get the adversaries to face the music…

If the string is some high-tensile-strength polymer, e.g. kevlar, the assembly can pass with flying colors even through a fairly close examination with an xray machine.

A similar string, with embedded abrasive xray-transparent grains (hi, cubic boron nitride!), could double as a portable concealable survival saw. Could be hidden inside of e.g. a shoestring; tear apart the middle (and pull out the folded saw-string or garrote), wrap the ends around hands to securely hold, and go for the business.

Now there’s a proverb for the ages.

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I agree, Your Majesty, that this performer is quite skilled in country and western guitar, but have you noticed any bass notes lower than an A? And I believe it is the banjo that sports five strings. All in all, Your Majesty, I’m uncomfortable with the way he scooches the stool a bit closer after every song.


That’s cute…


yeah, that’s from the zizek! documentary right? I was sort of halfway looking for that the other day.

Also, I suck for not using the diacriticals in his name, but I’m too lazy right now… Forgive me all of Slovenia! I SAY his name right…

But I do have to say, that most of the cultural dealing with the apocalypse (with maybe the exception of The Road) are more about rebuilding society than society ending.

That’s kind of a good point… we only ever imagine able-bodied people in post-apocalyptic films/TV. Although I guess in Walking Dead, you have the guy who is missing a leg? the Preacher, whose name escapes me now, from the farm?