In “olden times” (a.k.a. “when I was a boy”) if kids played doctor out behind the barn or in the basement, parents or police rarely found out about it. The ubiquity of digital photography is both a boon and a burden.
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While I do not think a 12 yr old girl should or could be found at fault for a physical sexual assault because she wore a mini skirt; it does stand to reason she does bear some responsibility if she takes a compromising photo of herself and sends it to another person…no?
I mean is that not the very epitome of personal responsibility?
I have a 15 yr old daughter. She has an iPhone. She uses Snapchat and Instagram. I have routinely checked on her device the photo library and the account. I have routinely reminded her to make good choices and first respect herself before expecting others to respect her. So far so good. But if I found out she sent a compromising photo to someone and it got out, the first person I would"blame" in the situation is HER. Because it started with her taking it.
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The issue though isn’t in Teenager A sharing a photo with Teenager B.
The real issue is Teenager A sharing photo with Teenager B who then shares said photo with Teenagers C, D, E, F, G, H, I…etc etc.
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12-year-olds aren’t even teenagers. They are children, and think like children. Adulthood is a foreign country to them.
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No. Actually, just full stop no. Someone’s decision to force another person to have sex is never the victims fault, no matter what they do. It might not be the best decision, but an expression of sexuality is not excuse for rape, or even doxxing, [ETA] which is a breach of trust between two individuals.
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As the parent of a 13 year old, I concur.
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In the case of my 12 year old son, I would concur. In the case of my daughter when she was 12…no. She understood plenty of adult concepts and issues. You cannot define it by a single age. Different kids mature and comprehend things at different ages.
I know grown 40 somethings who are still act like children.
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No, they really don’t. They might have an inkling. They might know what to say to make it seem like they understand, but they don’t really understand. Their brains just aren’t developed enough yet. It takes many years past physical development for the brain to be “fully grown”, so don’t mistake the fact that a 12-year-old girl is developing breasts and other curves to mean she understands the lifetime implications of sending a photo to a friend.
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While I do not think the photo taker should be investigated as a criminal, I do look at the photo taker as culpable for their actions.
again, stating how I would feel and handle this if it were my child of which I have 3 of them (15, 12, 8)…Are they committing a crime by snapping a pic of them self…no. Are they committing a crime when they send said pic to someone else…no. If that person shares that photo, while they are committing the crime, the original party shares some responsibility.
If anyone cannot see that as true, I have nothing more to say. Good luck raising your kids.
When a 12 yr old does something like take a pic of themselves naked and sends it on snapchat to their friend. I blame the parents most of all. Good luck raising your kids.
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Maybe if you want to assign blame, do so to the child’s parents, not the child. I’m assuming you know, as a parent, that young teens can’t always be counted on to make sound decisions (as @anon67050589 suggests) because they are still children, still feeling their way around and figuring things out. Their brains aren’t fully formed yet, as we all know.
Holding a child repsonsible for their action, on a familial level, is a far cry from criminalizing behavior (exploring their sexuality via the methods that they understand, which does include technology), which is what this guy suggests.
Same to you.
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Or we can just put them get them to put each other out on the street.
(Ugh-- I need to get myself out of the “we” in that sentence. Are we really all part of us?)
I know grown 40 somethings who are still act like children.
That would be me.
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The choice as a parent is to be draconian, in the fundamentalist way, allowing children no freedom to say or do anything not pre-approved, or to teach and lead by example as best you can, knowing that 1) innate temperament, 2) friends, and 3) the outside world, from school to TV to the internet will all mitigate your efforts.
Why do you keep saying “good luck raising your kids”? You seem to think that you’re the only one who knows how to raise children.
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Well, duh, clearly, we’re teaching our daughters to be slutty sluts! 
I think it’s just @quorihunter’s way of saying he disagrees with us and is finished with the discussion. Or maybe he’s calling us shitty parents, IDK.
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It isn’t a matter of blame, it is a matter of trying to keep your kids safe.
I SHOULD be able to leave my car unlocked with out the worry of someone going through it. I SHOULD be able to use my debit card at Walmart and an ATM and not get the number stolen (happened yesterday). I SHOULD be able to walk down any neighborhood with out the fear of being threatened.
The reality is there are bad people and people willing to take advantage of you or take revenge on you. As my kid gets older I am going to encourage her to express herself, but also take measure to protect herself.
ETA - in the dressing department, her mom is much more conservative than me. She freaked out the volley ball shorts I got her were too small when they were identical to what several others were wearing.
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so, who is being harmed when a young person takes a nude pic? who is the law protecting or is this rule following?
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Here you identify two acts, and say they are not crimes. Then you say,
What crime are you referring to?
EDIT: do you mean the crime of sharing the photo? Because sharing the photo was an act against the kid in the pic.
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Kids do stupid stuff. Kids raised by good parents with the best of intentions doing their very best, and kids raised by parents who are phoning it in at best. The problem in today’s society isn’t that kids are doing stupid stuff still - that’ll never go away ever. The problem is how the adult world – primarily the legal system and the school system – reacts to it. There is no “stern talking to” from the schools. There’s no “I’m calling your parents. This better not happen again.” There is only save-your-ass mode over reactions. Report a “bully” at school and watch what happens. My daughter did this – was basically sticking up for herself because the kid wouldn’t stop despite the warnings – and it launched an investigation of all investigations. Instead of calling the kid and his parents down and telling the kid he better knock it off, the school covered its ass as only schools know how.
Don’t get me wrong. This is not the fault of teachers. In fact, I see teachers trying to avoid this mess.
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No, it isn’t consistent with how most people gauge personal responsibility. It’s analogous to having no reasonable expectation of privacy. Imagine being told that the solution to any leak is that you should not engage in any correspondence unless you expect that it is obviously public. Why should everybody need to know everything about you?
If people use your photos against you, then there are existing crimes to deal with that, such as harassment laws.
It’s lazy legalese for bringing twice as many people into an opportunistic legal system. “Oh, somebody robbed you? That’s what you get for having stuff which could be stolen. You are facilitating crime!”
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