Police issue scary looking pizza tickets to people they catch doing good things

I disagree that this is all that much of a bad thing. I prefer to imagine the gentle fiction that the cops are public servants out to improve the conditions of our civilization. If they’re all stick and no carrot, then they become pure weapons.

Let 'em rescue the odd stranded kitten, for Pete’s sake. Encourage them to give directions to lost tourists. Empower them to be seen as helpful and community-minded assets as they twirl their batons and waddle whistling down the sidewalk. Maybe then we’d be more inclined to help them nab a purse-snatcher rather than sticking a surreptitious toe in front of their jackbooted feet sending them sprawling on the pavement while the malefactor gets away.

Maybe if we encouraged them to be more innocuous toward the citizens they’re sworn to protect and serve, we’d like them more. As it is, making them into single-use tools isn’t making them too popular.


The Denver PD has a reputation over there, and it’s not a flattering one. People who are impressed by some pizza coupons are not the people the dapartment needs to worry about.

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Fiction being the key word. I think that people believing in that fiction is what has given them wide latitude to get away with the bad things they get away with. Because if their duties include such a noble goal as “improving the conditions of our civilization”, then it’s pretty hard to argue that they shouldn’t be allowed all kinds of corner cutting and special status.

And I certainly don’t think this is all that bad. It’s not the actual thing, but what it represents. Instead of trying to improve their image, they should work on changing why it is they have a PR problem in the first place.


I’d post a “why not both” GIF, but I kind of don’t get why that one caught on so much.

The fundamental overhaul would be the biggest priority, it’s true, but along the way I don’t mind if they do a little nice-guy work as well. Doesn’t really cost them anything.

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Sun Ra called it, thirty years ago.

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This is just a cheap PR stunt that does nothing to increase people’s respect of the police. In fact, it’s insulting that they think all it will take is a childish novelty to make people think, “gee, cops are such nice people!”

I will increase my respect for the police when they stop abusing their powers and cut out infuriating commando-style raids like these:

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I will say, when I’ve been through Denver, they have a shocking number of bail bond places near downtown. I counted 60+ in a day of wandering around.

(Granted, last time I was there was 2008)

I can’t imagine why they have such a bad reputation. They make such witty t-shirts.

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Note to self when visiting Denver: Visit the weed dispensary, then swing by the free pizza cop.


And, by that, do you mean that you “fink (it’s) freaky and (you) like it a lot?”

Please fill in the appropriate bubble.

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Well, in my experience Papa John’s put in the hours.

Also, there was this one place in Columbia, Missouri…(shudder)…like tomato sauce on cardboard, it was.

somebody is gonna start yelling you’ll never take me alive and start shooting. I hope.

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Every time they did it, did they say “sponsored by Bank of America and Dairy Queen”? I think there’s a difference between local business supporting the police through (possibly self-serving) programs, and the police acting as a street marketing team for private business.

This should add a frisson of intrigue to interactions with the police…

Are they coming at you, all smiles and armoured might, with the intention of giving you a pizza token or shooting you in the face?

Just be careful when you reach for that token, those hands coming out of those pockets could be holding a gun, best to shoot first and ask ignore questions later.

Personally I think they should just go the whole hog and give recipients of the good citizens award the chance to take part in some improvisational street-theatre.

“OK buddy, you play the violent, terrorist threat to my life and I’ll play the violent, underpaid police officer who’s only wish is to shoot you through the kidney. Oh, and we’re both trying to fight our way out of a giant paper bag. Aaaaand GO!”


This looks SO much like a hustle they do in the French Quarter in New Orleans. They’ve been doing it since forever. They give you a ticket for “having too much fun” and then hustle you for a 10 spot. I think it’s mostly Christian groups doing fundraising that do it.

A much better hustle for the tourists is the old “I know where you got your shoes at” bit. It goes like this:

Con-artist: I bet you $10 I know where you got your shoes at.

Incredulous Tourist: What? How? Sure! I’ll take your money!

Con-artist: You got your shoes right here on Bourbon Street!

Conned Tourist suddenly not having fun: Aw man! You got me!

Con-artist: pay up!

Loser: Here’s your $10. Guess we chalk that up to an authentic day in the French Quarter.

At least the tourist gets a little joke out of it.

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A popular social experiment I’ve seen involves people standing outside a supermarket and offering people $1 bills simply for passing by, and IIRC, most people wouldn’t take the dollar, and then would avoid the person handing out the money once they left the store.
My own experience of obvious and not-so-obvious marketing campaigns leads me to avoid the people I notice handing out “free” stuff–it’s just another thing I’m going to have to deal with, and I’ve already got too much shit. Were it to be cops handing out stuff apropos of nothing…well, I’d automatically be on the other side of the walkway anyway, as our interactions have not always gone smoothly.
However, short of getting local LEOs to live in the community they police (and therefore interact with those same people), I suppose it’s a step in the right direction.

Oh, and that two-or-three person group that’s always selling shit and standing directly in the way at Union Station so as to get noticed and put the sell on passersby for whatever useless shit you’re selling? You’re always blocking pedestrian traffic and I hate you and would like to push you down a flight of stairs.

Was this in Maine? My nephew got one of those last year riding his bike. If a different state, I’d be curious if it was Dairy Queen’s idea to begin with.

Con-artist: I bet you $10 I know where you got your shoes at.

Incredulous Tourist: *ignores sketchy random person on the street, keeps walking*


Yep, different state. Minnesota to be more precise. Although I did a little googling and found it has happened in Illinois, Wisconsin, Minnesota, and Iowa. And in Missoula, Montana a resident sprang for the coupons and approached the police about the program because he remembered hearing about the program elsewhere.

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