Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2019/03/05/pooch-pirate-man-filmed-steal.html
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Yea, he… thought it was… his concrete dog?
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…will go well with concrete Easter Island Head.
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Now I just want to see a video and/or picture of that statue’s doggelganger.
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The homeowner was quoted as saying, “Doggone it!”
(I’ll be here all ze veek.)
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It’s easier than that. It has an aged bronze patina. He likely thought it was metal that he could sell for scrap.
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Human Beings are garbage.
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Back when I had a house - it came with this huge concrete planter - old homes and nice architectural details. The houses were about 125-150 years old or so - white elephants. Thieves were going around the neighborhood stealing any of the older stuff they could & selling it elsewhere.
Guy stole the planter an dropped it on the sidewalk breaking it.
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I have noticed a sub-economy of people who raid dumpsters and weekly trash pickups (what is sometimes called “Allston Christmas” in Boston-- at the end of college semesters kids leaving town dump all kinds of stuff they can’t bring home) and sell the stuff at flea markets or in some cases, private brick-and-mortar, for-profit thrift stores.
That may be what’s going on here. Anything of value that can be resold for more than $5 and isn’t tied down becomes “fair game.”
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But I didn’t steal it, mom, if followed me home!
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There is a family legend that my great-uncle Angus was known as a child for doing just that (circa 1900), and saying to his mother “He’s a crackin’ good dog Ma! Can I keep him?”
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Is it micro-chipped?
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Maybe he plans on sending the owner photos from around the world of the dog as it’s Homeward Bound?
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In the mid-ninety’s I was working at a coffee shop while going to school. One day it was raining movie levels of rain. One of the other employees (Eric) had a long walk home and borrowed an umbrella left in the backroom. He told everyone as he left the store that he was borrowing it and would return it the next day.
The employee that owned the umbrella (Jessica) had a such a complete meltdown about this in a letter she posted in the back room, that Eric decided to have some fun. He took a Polaroid of the umbrella and wrote a cryptic message on the back. Over the next month the photos became more elaborate. Eventually when she was out to dinner he had one friend (she didn’t know) hold the umbrella behind Jessica while another friend (she didn’t know) run and gun a photo of Jessica with the umbrella inches behind her head.
After this last photo the joke had peaked. He gave her umbrella back. She said had actually had fun trying to figure out the written clues (on the Polaroid backs) and who was involved (everyone was).
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The rear license plate of the thief’s car is clearly visible as it drives away.
PAN UP AND RIGHT
ZOOM IN
ZOOM IN
ENHANCE
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This might explain what happened in our home. One day a stone lion statue holding a paw up appeared in front of our door. We were like “Holy fuck? a lion statue?” but we kept him and used him to keep the screen door open on occasion and about 5 years later he vanished.
I just assumed his work was done and he went back to his people but now I’m starting to think some random dickhole stole him for nefarious lion statue reasons.
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The guy who was the victim should take empty amazon boxes and fill it with dog and/or cat shit. Then seal it and place it on his porch. People have done this in PA with hilarious results. Make sure you swap out boxes with random sizes every week or so, so it looks like it came in the mail.
Unlike packages, though, where the act is likely theft, how do we know that this isn’t an ongoing sequence of nickings and counter-nickings? Maybe it’s a family thing going back generations? Nobody really knows whose dog it is?
