Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2020/12/30/pornhub-shirt-but-its-ewoks.html
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Sticky Wicket?
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They removed the song for the 90s reissue? I don’t know how I missed that.
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We had to sing it AND dance in a 4th grade show. G’noop dock fling, oh ah!
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Raging hypocrites!
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Who don’t lub the yub nub?
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Never again will I make the mistake of googling “furries”.
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This video was where I first learned that the song even had an English translation.
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Poor Ewoks. Days after the rebels left Endor, the debris from the moon sized space station rained down.
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Did they ever explain why a bunch of short-statured, mostly-nude teddy bears happened to have a dress on hand that was a perfect fit for Princess Leia?
Also that’s a rather daring cut to be wearing around people who just about come to the height of your crotch.
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They made timber military engineering to rival the Roman legions in a couple of days, think they can probably whip up a skirt in a few hours.
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Apart from the dress they gave Leia I don’t think the Ewoks ever demonstrated any knowledge of loom technology though.
Maybe they just found it in the luggage from the family in those “Ewok Adventure” movies.
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There was lot unexplained about Endor.
Cochran
…ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, I have one final thing I want you to consider. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Chewbacca. Chewbacca is a Wookiee from the planet Kashyyyk. But Chewbacca lives on the planet Endor. Now think about it; that does not make sense!
Gerald Broflovski
Damn it! … He’s using the Chewbacca defense!
Cochran
Why would a Wookiee, an 8-foot-tall Wookiee, want to live on Endor, with a bunch of 2-foot-tall Ewoks? That does not make sense! But more important, you have to ask yourself: What does this have to do with this case? Nothing. Ladies and gentlemen, it has nothing to do with this case! It does not make sense! Look at me. I’m a lawyer defending a major record company, and I’m talkin’ about Chewbacca! Does that make sense? Ladies and gentlemen, I am not making any sense! None of this makes sense! And so you have to remember, when you’re in that jury room deliberatin’ and conjugatin’ the Emancipation Proclamation, does it make sense? No! Ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, it does not make sense! If Chewbacca lives on Endor, you must acquit! The defense rests.
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The chronology would make sense. The Towani family crashlands on Endor 3 ABY, the Battle of Endor is 4 ABY, and the Ewok that finds Leia is Wicket, who was one of the primary Ewoks involed with the Towani family.
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I believe that the Ewok movies were officially set between the events of Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi. The problems with this timeline are:
- Wicket apparently forgot how to speak Galactic Basic at some point between Battle for Endor and meeting Leia in Jedi, and
- The Ewoks continued the practice of eating human flesh even after befriending the Towani family. Which doesn’t necessarily contradict the timeline so much as underscore what bloodthirsty little savages the guys were. How were Cindel’s parents fine with letting her play with those little monsters unsupervised?
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