Ewok haters! See this guy's awesome diorama and beg for forgiveness


#1

Originally published at: http://boingboing.net/2014/11/01/get-your-yubnub-on.html

David Mizejewski found his old Star Wars action toys. So he did what anyone else would do: make an amazing Ewok diorama.


#2

I really hate Ewoks.


#3

I think you can still participate.

appreciate | əˈpriʃiˌeɪt|
verb [ trans. ]
1 recognize the full worth of […]
2 understand (a situation) fully; recognize the full implications of […]


#4

but are you ok with wookiees


#5

Everyone loves Wookies.


#6

I got some Ewok action figures the Christmas after Jedi came out, but by that time I was getting a little too old for the toys. I guess I was at an odd age, or maybe just an odd kid, because I was kind of ambivalent toward the Ewoks. Didn’t love 'em, didn’t hate 'em. I thought it was cool that they could take down Empire forces, but also thought it just highlighted some of the Empire’s really dumb ideas–like those two-legged walkers.

What this really brings back is that a few years earlier I had planned dioramas of Dagobah. I never got around to making them, but even if I had they wouldn’t be as fun as these.


#7

YubNub is also a pretty good front-end for a search engine. If are a command-line type of person instead of using a mouse, YubNub is nice…

http://www.yubnub.org/


#8

You’re over-cooking them. They go all tough and dry if you’re not careful.


#9

Let us not forget the brave sacrifice made by the ewoks of their planet’s entire planet’s entire biosphere for the sake of FREEDOM!:
http://www.theforce.net/swtc/holocaust.html

Remember kids, freedom isn’t free and be careful when you blow up an artificial moon held in synchronous non-orbit by a repulsor field.


#10

Ewok Tartare? You have to be careful with wild ewok. Full of parasites.


#11

They’re better than some of the alternatives.


#12

The best kind:


#13

Dawww, who’s a good ewok?


#14

I enjoyed these photos a lot more than I thought I would. Thanks.


#15

Oh, man, this! I remember this being my first experience of someone overthinking the Star Wars universe.

I was all downhill for me from that moment on. :smile:


#16

Speaking of overthinking Star Wars — did you ever think about where Leia’s Endor Dress came from? Why would a tribe of Ewoks have a human-sized dress laying around?

The evidence points to Ewoks ritualistically killing and eating all non-Ewok humanoids they come across. That’s obviously what they were going to do to the rebels, before Luke pulled a Jedi trick to make them think C3P0 was some kind of deity.

The Ewoks had a dress for Leia to wear because they killed and consumed the dress’s previous owner.


#17

That DOES NOT MAKE SENSE.

You must acquit.


#18

According to the retcon in wookieepedia, the Ewok who found Leia was a progressive among the typical Ewok culture who had experienced positive contact with at least one human before ROTJ’s events and no longer feared humans as a class but instead was able to recognize those on a mission of ultimate destruction from the people who want to be free.

Apparently (according to the same retcon) C3PO’s appearance fulfilled an ancient Ewok prophecy of a golden god. (the article is unclear whether this prophecy was held by all Ewok villages or peoples, or if it were a local prophecy that didn’t expand past the village that found Leia, C3PO, Luke, Han and the others.)

In any case, the retcon says that Leia was found and brought to the tree village first, and given a warm welcome, which was facilitated due to the high social standing and off-world knowledge posessed by the Ewok who found her. Unfortunately, the Ewoks were fundamenalist animists who could only be swayed so much by reasoned arguments of one of their own. The prophecy of the golden god required a sacrifice, and they found our intrepid heroes with the golden god.

So they were to sacrifice the biologicals they found with the golden god. Why else would an all-powerful metal being bring animals with it vut for sacrifice. The golden god’s consorts and companions would obviously be golden too. And any protests of the sacrifice by the golden god would only serve as a test of the Ewoks’ faith.

This is one more event illustrating the dangers of religion and religious culture, even if a few atheists or even just critical thinkers are sprinkled into the mix.

But to be honest, your explanation is a lot more fun, and makes great sense without the retcon. And is definitely more acceptable to purists of the oridge tridge.


Edited for grammar and spelling


#19

Er… dude, I hope that’s a spelling mistake and not some slash fiction… “given a warm welcome” by the “tree village fist”…


#20

Hold on… “World Ewok Appreciation Day”??? Stars Wars is o.k. (I love it), but this is taking it way too far.