Powerful modern-day curses


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May those who are outspoken, quirky, and ardent activists for freedom and individuality inherit a fandom: full of quirks, outspokenness, and a penchant for pedantry.


The comments one is funny, but the one before it? Fuuuuuck…

“I hope you step on a lego!”


For a comedic article this sure packs quite a punch. I think I need to go reevaluate some things.

They already are. Am I supposed to give a shit?

How about “May you develop a crippling obsession with the opinions of internet randoms, until you can be reduced to tears by the sort of busybodies who are vocally horrified by men’s hats.”

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My family uses that one. Instead of using real or faux profanity, we like to get creative. “I hope you step on a lego” is what my brother and I have always shouted and still use when we piss each other off. Less hurtful than “go fuck yourself”, or “die in a fire”, or “you’re a psychopath”, but still salty enough. We love each other, and both of us still cringe at the memory of the countless intra-pedal lego implantations we experienced in childhood.


At the bank headquarters I worked at in the 90’s, an office favorite was, “I wish you death.”

One lady even had notepads made with that sort of sentiment basically telling others to “do this or die”, etc.

We started Capital One after that.

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