Pregnant woman to have dolphin as midwife

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I’m almost afraid to ask who the father is.

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Or, you know, bat your baby round with their tails then eat it…

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A couple months from now we’ll have an answer to the never before asked
“What do dolphins and dingoes have in common?”

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I don’t know exactly how smart dolphins are, but I now know of at least two people they’re smarter than.

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Who knows, maybe some of those beached cetaceans are expectant mothers looking to have a “land birth.”

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Dolphins are vicious perverts. It is known.

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aren’t dolphins carnivores? And isn’t this incredibly dangerous?

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WHAT.  

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It’s dangerous, but I wouldn’t say ‘incredibly’ because people are always doing stupid, dangerous things. Cf. Grizzly Man, the latest wars, etc. etc. etc.

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Shit. Now I wish I would have thought of giving birth in a cave surrounded by bats as they bestowed their magickal BAT powers to my child. Nana nana nana nana na…

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My kids were born in a hospital, so I guess that means they should have doctor powers.

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Exactly my thoughts…

“What nice humans. That odd fish was delicious!”

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Just pray there are no complications. I hear dolphins don’t know squat about preeclampsia.

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No villain will withstand their secret sphygmomanometer attack.

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Water-birthing and cetacean wisdom are a centuries-old tradition among the ruling elite. There’s a reason why heirs to the French throne received the title “Dauphin”.

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Below, a video posted several years ago of a different woman delivering a child underwater in the presence of a dolphin.

Is this the same one previously on BoingBoing established to be from a French documentary film ?

Also previously:

…But, as with all things, it doesn’t matter whether it’s a good idea or even if she goes through with it at this point. Publicity has been Attained, a purpose has been served.

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Rosin and partner Maika Suneagle believe that their baby will speak dolphin.

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Paging Werner Herzog, a human is being hubristic in the face of nature’s indifferent and awesome power.

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