Pregnant woman to have dolphin as midwife


#1

[Read the post]


#2

I’m almost afraid to ask who the father is.


#3

Or, you know, bat your baby round with their tails then eat it…


#4

A couple months from now we’ll have an answer to the never before asked
“What do dolphins and dingoes have in common?”


#5

I don’t know exactly how smart dolphins are, but I now know of at least two people they’re smarter than.


#6

Who knows, maybe some of those beached cetaceans are expectant mothers looking to have a “land birth.”


#7

Dolphins are vicious perverts. It is known.


#8

aren’t dolphins carnivores? And isn’t this incredibly dangerous?


#9

WHAT.  


#10

#11

It’s dangerous, but I wouldn’t say ‘incredibly’ because people are always doing stupid, dangerous things. Cf. Grizzly Man, the latest wars, etc. etc. etc.


#12

Shit. Now I wish I would have thought of giving birth in a cave surrounded by bats as they bestowed their magickal BAT powers to my child. Nana nana nana nana na…


#13

My kids were born in a hospital, so I guess that means they should have doctor powers.


#14

Exactly my thoughts…

“What nice humans. That odd fish was delicious!”


#15

Just pray there are no complications. I hear dolphins don’t know squat about preeclampsia.


#16

No villain will withstand their secret sphygmomanometer attack.


#17

Water-birthing and cetacean wisdom are a centuries-old tradition among the ruling elite. There’s a reason why heirs to the French throne received the title “Dauphin”.


#18

Below, a video posted several years ago of a different woman delivering a child underwater in the presence of a dolphin.

Is this the same one previously on BoingBoing established to be from a French documentary film ?

Also previously:

…But, as with all things, it doesn’t matter whether it’s a good idea or even if she goes through with it at this point. Publicity has been Attained, a purpose has been served.


#19

Rosin and partner Maika Suneagle believe that their baby will speak dolphin.


#20

Paging Werner Herzog, a human is being hubristic in the face of nature’s indifferent and awesome power.