I’d expect lawsuits from the Sirius Institute of Hawaii,* who monetarised the waterbirthing-with-dolphins gimmick a couple of years ago.
-
Run by Star Newland, of course.
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That would be a fluke accident.
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This was my first thought as well, even though I admit it is kind of condescending 
But wow, this is definitely a plan someone comes up with when they don’t have kids to worry about!!!
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Headline of that second article: “‘Dolphin-Assisted’ Birth: Natural or Dangerous?”
As if the two options have anything to do with each other… Ugh.
“Sugar of Lead: Natural or Dangerous?”
“Cutting: Natural or Dangerous?”
“Pooping in the Town Resivoir: Natural or Dangerous?”
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Must control… Myself…
…
As I shouldn’t be Spouting nonsense.
Carp!! Some one slap me!!
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I kneaded that.
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to be fair he did succeed at this bit…his “personal reality” is very different from what I’d call reality or even how I define what reality means.
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To be honest, she probably hangs out with Master Puddah the Cat and her human spiritualistic healer owner:
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Won’t the kid have a helluva time filling out applications that ask where you were born. Or maybe explaining why he has little nubby arms and legs that look like they’ve been chewed off. Hey,Thanks mom…How old would my little sister be if that shark tank wisdom had worked out. Sweet Jebus. lady, you’re just batshit crazy
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Whatever the case, you’ll be paying out the blowhole for house calls…
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can you call child protective services BEFORE the baby is born?
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By that, does he mean very, very little?
Seriously “healers”, stop bloody tacking ‘quantum’ onto everything. It doesn’t mean what you think it means.
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A thousand times this.
It deserves the full piece.
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Sort of… I’ve heard tell of injunctions preventing abortions claiming child abuse that manage to imprison the woman until such a time that she can’t get an abortion.
I also remember a story here where, I think, someone was imprisoned for smoking crack or something during the first trimester, with the justification being child abuse. As if prisons and jails are better for pregnancy…
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Supposedly the dolphins like to hang around pregnant swimmers, scanning their bellies with their cetacean sonar, thinking:
- “Oh, a pregnant fellow-mammal, we must assist her.” OR
2: “Hmmm, turducken.”
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That kid is going to rebel so hard against their parents that they’re going to end up as a corporate lawyer, for Halliburton.
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@LDoBe & @pixleshifter …i cannot believe that I’ve never seen Tim Minchin before! I am now in a Tim Minchin YouTube hole watching many many fun yet smart and insightful comedy pieces. So thank you both for that.
It’s funny how you can think you’ve seen everything under the sun and yet somehow missed something as great as this.
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He’s a great entertainer. Very funny, combined with serious musical chops. Like a less sour and callow Bo Burnham.
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