Originally published at: http://boingboing.net/2017/05/08/purple-mattress-sues-reviewer.html
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Purple Mattress
I stopped right there.
P.S. Sounds kinda kinky too.
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Why didn’t they just…ahem…go to the mattresses.
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Oh crap! Somebody said mattress in front of Mr. Lambert.
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Purple Mattress sounds like something Prince would sleep on.
So yeah.
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Hello, gubmint? Could we get some legal protections for online reviewers ASAfreakingP, please and thank you.
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I’m sure they’ll be fine.
Why, just look at this picture of their new celebrity endorser enjoying one of their fine mattresses!
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It points to several statements posted at Honest Mattress Reviews which infer the powder used by Purple might be dangerous or unhealthy.
Imply.
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Impugn…
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impressive…
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GET IN THE BOX AND START SINGING!
(For some reason it won’t post this. Asks, “Body is unclear. Is this a complete sentence?” And, despite asking me that doesn’t accept my answer that, yes, it is.)
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Maybe someone had already taken the mattress for a test drive, and they used some baking soda to freshen it up?
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Indubitably…
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Please tell me you weren’t thinking of blue waffle…
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I wonder what that fancy memory plastic is out-gassing as well. I think we should do some tests.
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I love that they describe they powder as coming from “food-contact-grade material”. I can grind a plastic fork up into dust but I sure as hell am not going to inhale it.
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Eww Yuck…thanks for that thought…I wonder what’s pooled up in all those little waffles?
And since no one else has bothered…Christ what assholes! OK kids time for my nap.
Try singing at the top of your lungs:
PURPLE MATTRESS PUR-UR-PLE MATTRESS
I ONLY WANNA SEE YOU ON THE PURPLE MATTRESS
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Well, they’ve made their beds, now i guess they just have to lie on them…
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