Did you know you can get fast drying ink for fountain pens and not have that problem?
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Does being married to a lefty count?
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Wasn’t it a pretty picture postcard that I mailed my little nieces when I went t on vacation? But wasn’t the pen inferior to yours?
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Did you know that it really doesn’t work as well as they claim?
(And it totally ruins the experience of writing with a fountain pen, anyway.)
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Don’t us lefties just have to learn to write backwards from right to left?
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Ah, so your stationery has grown tired of being stationary? 
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Awwww, dang it, how did I make that rookie mistake?
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'Twas not Donaldable, though–and isn’t that all that really counts? 
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Didn’t I hear they made it official?
Isn’t writing one of the few things my left hand doesn’t do just as well as my right hand (or better than in the case of typing)? 
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Does it seem to you like the neighbors on either side are playing Dueling Banjos…but with fireworks?
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Doesn’t it seem so? Except what kind of duel has three duelists? 
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A Mexican Standoff? Haven’t you seen The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly?
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Ugh, am I really going to have to email the professor AGAIN to tell him that the class’s student portal still isn’t open, and without that portal, we can’t access the documents he linked to in his last email?
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Does that make it a triel?
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What’s a student gotta do to get a prof to do his job? 
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Are you talking summer session?
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Bribe them with some pot?
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Yeah, and didn’t it start today?
Oh, look, didn’t he finally just open the module?
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Don’t tell us that you have a project due tomorrow?
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Now that I’ve read the syllabus, don’t I think that dropping the class would be a good idea (especially since I have another class that starts tomorrow), because YIKES?
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