Originally published at: Rats given tiny backpacks and microphones and sent to rescue people trapped in earthquake rubble | Boing Boing
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They only need some little Tupperware containers with slices of pizza, like St. Bernard dogs and their casks of brandy.
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“Here I am trapped in a collapsed building; how can this possible get any worse?.. RATS! RATS! RAAAATS!!!”
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Cool! I’m pretty sure those are African Giant rats, which are already heroes for being trained to locate mines in minefields without being heavy enough to set them off.
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Yes. Better if they are trained to speak.
“Everybody remain calm. I am Ratso, king of the underworld, and you will do everything I say.”
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Oh look they have microphones……RATS DOING KARAOKE!!!
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“I thought I was doing okay after having a building fall on me, but clearly I’m in worse shape than I realized - I’m hallucinating rats wearing little backpacks… Oh god, now it’s talking to me!”
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“Sir! Do you require medical attention??”
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the brandy barrels seen around the necks of Saint Bernards was the invention of the artist, Edwin Landseer, who, as a 17-year-old in 1820, painted, “Alpine Mastiffs Reanimating a Distressed Traveler.”
The kids are alright.
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Underage drinking. Outrageous.
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Well you have to remember that back in 1820 the legal drinking age was six and you could get a rental car from Hertz by age eight.
I wonder if that kid made up any other myths to mess with people. “As you can clearly see from this documentary painting I made, shipwreck survivors found off the coast of Bora Bora are frequently rescued by dolphins bearing daiquiris and hookers.”
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Edwin Landseer, originator of the Sexy Mermaid myth.
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If I were caught in a miserable situation, I think having a friendly rat say hello would be at least cheering.
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And they can help get rid of the remains.
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Finally, we have redefined Ratpack.
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Yup, because if the rubble didn’t kill me, seeing those rescue rats probably would! Watched too much of this as a kid:
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Yeah, I know. I just didn’t want to be the “Well, actually…” guy in this thread. 
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