Real-estate listing takes sinister turn on slide 30

Yeah, I suspect that answers the question of why the jail is still entirely intact, too.

Apparently past owners rented out the prison part for people wanting to hold their events/parties somewhere… unusual. But that seems like the owners trying to turn lemons into lemonade. It means whoever buys the house now is going to have something rather specific in mind for its usage, too…

Yeah, in some places they basically don’t mean anything at all. (Locally a historic building was torn down entirely because the penalties were so toothless, whatever fine the company paid was less than the cost of keeping the building’s facade.) But I suspect they mean something in this case, as they’ve kept half the house as a jail for many decades. Sure, it would probably cost a bit to dismantle it and and convert it, but someone’s spent some money to maintain everything just as it was.

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But that godawful kitchen gets the nod? Yeah, that figures.

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Here to pick up my daughter for dinner, eh? …come on through, she’s just in the back… :grin: … yup, just go through that open door with the bars on it…

Yeah, yeah, patriarchal, sexist, I’ll take my punishment now…

Though last time I was in Buffalo this place was for sale complete with cannon (for about the price of a 1-bedroom shack in a Toronto back-alley). That did give me protective Daddy fantasies about making the boyfriend walk the drawbridge…

(And I was pleasantly surprised, having previously only ever seen Buffalo from driving around the south on the I-190, in the distant shadow of their hulking, slightly scary, Art Deco city hall, that the city is not actually a slum… though some Buffalonians apparently still harbour a grudge about our :canada: having built the St. Lawrence Seaway… but I digress…)

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… or summer camp … :thinking:

Perfect for throwing parties than you never want to leave… or can’t leave?

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Yes, in the sense that it’s more fun to imagine that this is intentionally appointed as a murder cult house, with realtors enthusiastically demonstrating capacity, restraints, what can be done to the human body with 440 volts of alternating current, etc., than merely under a historical listing that frustrates any effort to modify the interior.

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@KathyPartdeux is who posted it to the bbs, and where I first saw it:

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It’s an honor just to be nominated.

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The trick is to get yourself and some like-minded friends on the commission.

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I’m just grateful that the most recent previous Missouri Governor didn’t find this home. He was creepy enough to be tossed out of office, as a Republican in Missouri, if he’d had this house it might have been an even darker reveal.

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Trust me, nobody wants a historical commission filled with people whose minds are like mine. You’re talking about a guy with an antique Alexa phone and a candle-powered television here. I tend to go for things that are both anachronistic AND needlessly impractical.

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Hey here’s some place Trump could be kept, um I mean could live after leaving the White House.

Um… roleplaying?

I guess so. Lots of leather and shiny chrome. Secret safe words and all…

After all, the historic society can probably tell you what sort of permanent changes you can make, but they probably can’t tell you what sorts of parties you can hold in the existing facilities!

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A wise old Missourian once told me:

If it’s a legitimate jail, there are ways of locking it down.

Or something like that.

They’d never get away with that if they called the cells bedrooms.

Nah, there’s really only one thing you can do with this property.

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Yup, I know someone this happened to. The place has crazy strict rules but the reality is they seem to think residents should be up for pouring a $100k down a toilet and flushing, so the building eventually ended up condemned and torn down. Just stupid. I’m all for historic preservation but don’t let the perfect be the enemy of ‘looks plenty historic’. Otherwise historic preservation just becomes a hobby for the very rich who can throw that kind of money around without worrying about being able to get it back out.

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That might itself be part of the history of the place, when you mention it.

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I’ve been developing a line of Buffalo Bill moisturizes, buy two in the range and I’ll send you a free pair of panty hose.

You can put the lotion on AND get the hose :grin:

I’d see myself out if it weren’t so damn dark in here!

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It means whoever buys the house now is going to have something rather specific in mind for its usage, too…

It’s perfect for a low-budget Umbrella Academy of your own!

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Yeah I moved last year from Missouri to New Jersey. I’m starting to wonder what tf I was thinking.

Just checked out the median home prices in each state. MO: $163k. NJ: $329k. CA: $550k. I guess it’s not terribly surprising that CA is seeing a bit of a population exodus. (Though it’s somewhat exaggerated)

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