One of my buddies in Montreal, visited the USSR some decades ago. When he would return to his hotel room at the end of the day, he'd relate, out loud, the day's sights to the room: "Today, I went to the Museum! And I saw..."
Likewise, another friend's mother returned to Czechoslovakia for a few weeks, to visit her sister. Of course there was the omnipresent minder always tailing her.
One day, after returning from her day's outing, she and her sister, from the comfort of the apartment, were looking at the poor, sad-looking minder shivering outside in the rain.
So she stepped outside and told him:
"Look, I know you're tailing me and it's not your choice, so I don't hold it against you. Why don't you come inside for some tea and get out of the rain?
- I don't know what you're talking about, I'm not spying on you," came the reply.
She insisted that it was fine, she knew, she wouldn't tell anyone, and that he could come in from the wet and cold. He insisted that he wasn't spying on her.
While they were arguing back and forth, the apartment building's superintendent came over and told the spy:
"I'm supposed to be keeping an eye on you, to make sure you're doing your job. But I have to leave my post, so I can go to the factory. I have to time-punch in, for my brother-in-law..he's not going to work today. So go ahead, go upstairs and have some tea with the lady; I'll tell your boss you were standing outside all the time"...so the minder came in for some tea.
It was like a scene out of Škvorecký's Engineer of Human Souls.