Reports of shooting at Los Angeles International Airport #LAX


Originally published at:


Sounds like a false alarm like at JFK.


At least the authorities finally caught Zorro!


Also caught this gem:

Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.

@LAScanner (@LAScanner) August 29, 2016


Absolutely nothing happened in Sector 83 by 9 by 12 today. I repeat, nothing happened in Sector 83 by 9 by 12.


LAX Security


So this is just what humans do in airports now? Like flying wasn’t awful enough.


in my elementary school in the 70’s, a rumor spread that a man dressed up as Zorro would appear at midnight. It caused so much anxiety that the principal had to call an all-student meeting. No one knew the source of the rumor.


for once I am not guilty, and I can prove it. ah wait. birth certificates are generally untrusted documents in the US, aren’t they?


“No shooting at X”… a welcome new spin on the “positive news” thing?


“War on terror” officially over. Terror won.


You know terror has won when terrorists could just as easily sit back and let prank callers and trolls cause as much of a panic as a legitimate terrorist threat…


So . . . did Donald Trump tweet about how this proves he was right about . . . something, and how Zorro impersonators will vote for him in droves?


From my misanthropic viewpoint it’s long felt like people actively hunger to be part of exciting Terror News – “Oh my god, my sister’s friend visited the street that bar is on 11 years ago, I COULD HAVE DIED!!” – and this feels like the natural result. Like, terrorists are literally failing to provide enough terror to satisfy demand, and people are resorting to being terrorized by empty pockets of air.

It’s a strange state of affairs when one of society’s problems is “not enough terrorism”.


Darn Mexicans, taking vigilante jobs from honest Americans!


Some friends of mine were in LAX last night, flying (or attempting to) home from a wedding. Yeah, they saw Zorro.


Back in the 1970s we got sent home from school a few times during the IRA Mainland Bombing Campaign due to prank calls.


The city of Tacoma has had microphones posted on light posts, specifically for pinpointing gunshots. If they can do that for entire neighborhoods, you’d think it’d be a no-brainer to wire up an airport with such things.

But that might take away fro the budget for porno-scanners and behavioral phrenology, I suppose.

  1. Why pay for something that NEVER HAPPENS?

  2. Indoor reverb and echo I bet would screw with that system which is made for out doors, though maybe not.

  3. If there is a loud enough sound, would it still trigger the system making it useless as well? Though, again, maybe not.


The microphones wouldn’t have to be permanently mounted. They could be attached to cell phones. All you’d pay for is the software and networking, much of which is already done.

As for it never happening… that hasn’t stopped them so far, why should it now?