Researchers ponder why orcas attack boats

Originally published at: Researchers ponder why orcas attack boats | Boing Boing

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Because they can.

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They know how dangerous humans are.

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Latchkey Orcas.

Rampant Cetacean Hooliganism (RCH) is what happens when normal pod structures break down and young orcas are left on their own - today they’re attacking boats, next month they’ll be huffing agricultural diesel and spray painting penises on dolphins.

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And everything we know about dolphins tells us they’ll likely be masturbating while they’re being painted.

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Season 1 Fun GIF by Showtime

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Because it’s… Animal day… of course.

Now the animals have cars
They’re starting to run us over
Notches on the steering wheel
My pet is calling me Rover
Deers are hunting for humans
Seals keep crushing our heads
Animals bettin’ on us at the track
My animal’s in my bed — Wall of Voodoo

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If rambunctious behaviour, why not bump kayaks and launch them into the air like they do with seals? I’m going with trauma from a boat type that is big enough to hurt, quiet enough to surprise and slow enough to go after.

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