Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2018/05/03/results-of-following-us-dietar.html
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My problem with US dietary guidelines is they don’t tell you how much Scotch you can have in a day, so I just drink enough until I feel better about everything.
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How can you afford that much Scotch?
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This is a problem? 
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He didn’t say it was good scotch.
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Good for him and keep on the path! I’m in the middle of some similar changes.
Sometimes my stomach growls loudly at inappropriate times. This morning it woke me up.
Boy does it suck to eat dinner and still be hungry, but that gradually gets better over time. Sorta.
It has taken years to layer on the fat, it takes real time and effort to get rid of it.
For my birthday, I wanna standing desk (a convertible actually) and a pony and a unicorn and a pegasus. Also a red rider bb gun.
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If you live in the Denver/Metro, and you want a used treadmill, I’d be happy to hook you up. Like pool tables, rich people in McMansions buy them, put them in their finished basements…and forget they ever owned them.
I also know where to get ponies for cheap, but I’ll only sell you a unicorn or pegasus after it gets dark, and it would help if you’re a little drunk, too.
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It’s not easy at first and it’s a long process, but you do get results from diet and exercise lifestyle changes. I had a much shorter regimen but in addition to feeling better and more fit I also reduced my cholesterol levels without using meds.
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It helps if you have only one hobby and low tolerance.
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…ah, but they also don’t specify how much scotch you’re not supposed to drink in a day! (wink)
[Collapses off barstool]
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From https://health.gov/dietaryguidelines/2015/resources/2015-2020_Dietary_Guidelines.pdf :
…If alcohol is consumed, it should be consumed in moderation—up to one drink per day for women and
up to two drinks per day for men—and only by adults of legal drinking age.[5]
I plan to break that rule tonight.
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Eating well and exercise can make you healthier? I’m shocked at this stunning revelation.
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Follows “US” dietary guidelines…posts results in metric units. Globalist conspiracy detected.
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No need. You just need to make your two drinks a little bigger than average…depending on the chosen beverage.
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If a woman over 30 does this and gets similar results, I’ll give it a shot.
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For Libertarians and conservatives who complain about the mean ol’ nanny state (personified recently by Michelle Obama) advocating for these things it is a stunning revelation. Same goes for the dopes who buy all that lose-weight-quick snake oil and worthless fad exercise gadgets.
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Ahem… (Wonder what I’ve been looking at online today…)
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Results of following US dietary and exercise guidelines for a year
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