Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2019/03/22/revenge-of-the-dead-cow.html
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“He had it coming.”
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I’ve heard of beating a dead horse. . .
And there are a few people I’d like to kick in the crotch once I’m safely dead.
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What if it wasn’t a cow at all? What if it was an Ubercow?
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IT’S A SIGN
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So kind of like that scene in the first “Rocky” movie, except the side-o-beef beats the crap out of Sylvester Stallone, and Burgess Meredith goes “Oy, then WTF’s Apollo Creed going to do to him?” “More raw eggs, Sly! Ya gotta chug more raw eggs!”
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“Mmm, this barbecue has some kick to it.”
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Appetizing.
Tenderizing…
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Do we happen to have anyone with knowledge of German animal welfare and food safety standards about?
“Killed according to regulations” sounds like a suspiciously specific not-necessarily-synonym for ‘dead’; and in the American context there have certainly been a number of reports of cases where processors, nominally implementing methods compliant with the Humane Methods of Slaughter Act, sometimes end up with animals experiencing…rather a lot…of ongoing nerve impulses for some time thereafter.
Is this a case of some peripheral nervous system activity; or are the regulations such that any cow struck at least once with a Bavarian bopping mallet of regulation weight is legally dead even if still protesting the fact in most lively terms?
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You’d be surprised how long nerve impulses persist in dead cattle.
When I was an undergrad, I assisted a professor with his cattle nutrition study, which at the end of the period, involves the cattle going to slaughter, being processed etc… This was USDA supervised, captive bolt in brain dead, after which the heads were removed, skinned, and placed on a holding shelf for processing later.
It’s a bit unnerving to see a row of skinless heads twitching, blinking, and moving their tongues for 10 or so minutes after decapitation.
Now, even if it weren’t for the supervised death, I’d still be pretty sure that they were dead once their heads were removed…
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It’s more or less all European regulations, transposed into national law.
This should be the relevant regulation:
https://eur-lex.europa.eu/legal-content/EN/TXT/?uri=CELEX:32009R1099
Primer on the different types of EU law, how they are made and how they are transposed into national law:
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AKA CSPAN.
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Instant Kowma’s gonna get you
Gonna knock you right on the head
You better get yourself together
Pretty soon you’re gonna be dead
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I can only wish it had happened to Devin Nunes.
