Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2017/10/09/rolls-royce-hood-ornament-inst.html
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I can see why they’d design it that way. A large number of the non-bourgeois (especially young ones) would have a hard time passing up the opportunity to get a little piece of the .01% as a trophy.
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I recall seeing this last year here in BB. Not that i don’t mind a repost, it’s a weird thing to design a car to do.
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Growing up in my neighborhood, stealing hood ornaments from fancy cars and stringin’ ‘em up on a chain around your neck was definitely a thing. (We also threw rocks at them whne they drove by- dog bless comin’ up in a blue collar 'hood in the 80’s, I’ve had class consciousness since before I knew it was a thing.)
And before anybody tut-tuts, we were kids, many of us latch-key from broken homes, and nobody was watching us except the dealers at the park. It coulda been worse…
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Oh, this has been a feature for the last 20 years or so.
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The post was here all along, it just popped back up after a period of time.
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I remember reading a “Dick” cartoon in the NME (or was it the MM?) on the subject sometime in the late 1980ies…
Dick is in the dock and is queried by the judge why he stole 12 Mercedes and 30 Volkswagen (or figures like that) hood ornaments.
“Well, the VW ones were much easier to peel off, M’lud.”
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The 1% police will have something to say about this.
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Carefully loop a wire cable around it, then trigger the retraction. With that end the cable internally seated, attach the other end to your heavy object of choice.
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Here’s the source video, the guy is reviewing a Rolls Royce made for millenials (not sure why that’s a thing): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dti2Gi4ut1c
Better yet, wrap a length of cable from just under the trunk snugly towards the ornament — covering the doors — and secure both ends around the ornament before triggering it. Then slap a suction cup dildo on top because you’re in a spiteful mood today. Behold, now they must solve your dick puzzle to get in.
ETA: I love this writing prompt you’ve provided. So many possibilities.
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Thank goodness the wealthy class is now protected from this aspect of petty theft.
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Bonus points for joining two Rolls.
If it wasn’t a finger at the plebes, it’d retract automatically when parked.
Of course, clever messing might eventually breed a dangerous Rolls, programmed to “Keep Summer hood ornament Safe”
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According to the manual, the only way to get it to come back out is to run your keys down the side of the car. You might have to do it several times, but you wouldn’t want a rich person knowing you tried to lift their ornament.
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Apparently this hiding behavior is to avoid gutting pedestrians during car accidents:
I looked into mounting a silver Chthulu on my car (not a Rolls; my other car is a…) but forebore when I read about the potential dangers.
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It’s like a little built in panic room for their status symbol. Now RR needs to work on feature that will fling the driver into the trunk if anyone tries to force open the car door.
Did I say “fling?” I meant “deliver safely, yet instantly.”
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That’s nothing, the Eastern Orthodox Patriarch has one for his hat
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The claim is that it’s to protect peasants in car accidents, but fast isn’t instant and I have doubts.
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The rich don’t care that much about poors. Maybe it is so they don’t gut themselves when being thrown clear of the vehicle because they weren’t buckled in and the driver didn’t have the splatter…er privacy…screen up?
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Petty theft? I’m guessing the repair and replacement of the hood ornament would put it well over $500 into grand theft territory.
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