Russia's military uses gigantic wooden comedy props for punishment


#1

[Read the post]


#2

But what happens when you forget your huge wooden gun? Do you have to carry an even bigger one?

Keeping Up with the Kalashinikov, Daniel Clemmet


#3

It’s still not as bad as having to go to a Carrot Top concert.

Also:


#4

I’m not totally sure what caber toss jesus fucked up (last pic)


#5

Other punishments include carrying massive guns made out of logs (showing up without your weapon), carrying huge logs painted to look like cigarettes (caught smoking on duty), and carrying massive log-swords (forgetting your bayonet).

Can’t wait for the pics of people being punished for neglecting to zip up.


#6

I don’t know about giant log sword, that seems like an incentive to forget your bayonet…


#7

Bayonets are still a thing?

That’s… worrying.


#8

If you don’t celebrate Yuri’s night they make you carry a giant wooden model of Laika.


#9

Those look kind of cute, but the Russian military seems to have a rather unfunny tradition of severely hazing recruits (Dedovshchina).


#10

Every generation thinks it is the last to need bayonets, and they’re all wrong.


#11

If I recall correctly they’re used in training to encourage aggression, turns out training running up and stabbing the shit out of someone is a bit more personal than just shooting them.


#12

Who’d a thunk it?

Humans can be compete animals, but apparently we need some training to be really good at it.


#13

When I was at Academy, you’re punishment was to polish a huge [head] bust with a toothbrush & 1 inch square cloth regardless of the weather. Believe me it takes forever to get it completed.


#14

The guy with the telephone pole says “KENT” on it? I want to know what KENT stands for.


#15

Cory - I posted the original Tumblr post of this in December, 2014. It’s been shared properly nearly 8,000 times. At some point, my attribution as author and my crediting the source of the images (the always excellent Weird Russia blog) were removed and that version is also making the rounds. See the original post here:

Credit where credit is due is not a hallmark of Tumblr. That’s part of why I quit posting there…


#16

Which academy? You’re not talking about Academy Sports, are you?


#17

Kent is a brand of cigarette. My mom used to smoke that brand, though I didn’t know they make them any more.

ETA - interesting trivia on the wiki page:

Between 1970 and 1990 Kent was the most demanded cigarette in Romania and in some parts of the domestic market used as payment or bribe.


#19

People run out of bullets and urban warfare in close quarters is increasingly the norm. In many ways the spear was man’s first weapon, and I guarantee you it will be the last.

Grandad smokes them. They’re still sold in the Middle East and are popular there, but my stint as a gas station attendant taught me that they’re not popular in the US anymore and there aren’t as many varieties…


#20

I imagine just having to clean a huge head with a toothbrush and 1 inch square cloth would take forever.


#21

Hmm. The humiliation of trainees didn’t work out so well for Drill Sergeant Hartman.