Not bad doctorow… but I raise you a


You’d better not trout, you’d better not (fish) fry, Santapus is coming to town.

you’d better not -splarb-, you’d better not -blap-, santapus is coming to town.

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I think I need a unicorn chaser after Scroto Claus…


Ho Ho Hor’lyehble.


He’ll seize you when you’re sleeping…
He gnaws you with his beak…
Those tentacles are slippery,
He’s a big eight-legged freak!

Oh, you better not pout,
You better not cry,
See him about,
You’ll think that you’re high!
Sant-a-pus is coming to town!


Better not have sex better not give birth* SantaPus is coming to town.

  • from Wiki However, reproduction is a cause of death: males can only live for a few months after mating, and females die shortly after their eggs hatch.

So that’s why tentacle rape hentai is not one of the twelve days of Christmas, then.

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They have the face upside down! The mouth would be on the bottom of the creature–not visible at all in this view. Suspension of disbelief is really a complex thing.

I was imagining something more like Davy Jones from Pirates of the Caribbean.

“After a tragic telepod accident at North Pole R&D, Santa is accidentally fused with an octopus trained to wrap presents (another elf R&D failure). Hilarity ensues.”

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