Scammy phone company Centurylink: "No one can sue us because we don't have any customers"

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The “we have no customers” bit is new. The other part, saying that their customers can’t sue them even if they commit fraud, seems legit if the customers did, in fact, sign an agreement to that effect. It was the same with Wells Fargo.

Opening another account, or having one opened fraudulently in your name, doesn’t make you a different person. Wells Fargo and its staff, and these crooks, should face criminal prosecution. But people who agreed contractually not to sue them can’t sue them.


I hate the way big business’s think they can get away with this shit. But they sure have their wallets open for government freebees.


Remember when ‘contracts’ were supposed to be convenient reference artifacts documenting an agreement between two parties, rather than things whose mere existence is treated as authoritative regardless of even the most sordid origin? I don’t; but it must have been pretty cool.


I’m no lawyer, but I’ll remember to put the “To use this website, you and all your employers can’t sue me ever, and you agree to never press charges for anything I have done or will do; you agree not to compete with me in any jurisdiction, and agree to list out all specific jurisdictions that you intend to compete and pay 95% of all revenue you make whilst running competing businesses, payable on a yearly basis; you won’t speak of me using any form of criticism and will give me perfect reviews and praise when requested; You will sign over guardianship to any children you have guardianship over upon request; You will donate your internal organs, including your liver and kidneys, upon request; If any clause of this is ruled invalid in a court, this will not invalidate any of the other clauses and the rest of the agreement will still be considered valid” clause randomly for 1 out of ever 5000 consumer agreements that they have to click… I’m sure judges everywhere will accept the wisdom of the clause. Just for people like you. :slight_smile:


That’s odd, their 2017 4th Quarterly Results from Feb 14 2018 specifically mentions:
over 1 million CUSTOMERS



I tried their services after getting and explicit breakdown of what I could expect on my bill… while the service’s functionality was fine, the first bill was about three times what I was quoted. I got on the phone with their customer service department pronto and maintained a hard-line “Either you honor what I was quoted, or you terminate my service.” They tried up-sell, down-sell, stalling me on hold, “let me check with my manager,” and finally agreed to terminate my service. Then the fuckers tried to charge me for their equipment, despite my returning it with their packing slip. Good thing I keep receipts and meticulous notes… (I paid only what I agreed to for that first month).

Document all interactions you have with these scammers.

CenturyLink business appears to me to be fraud, and I encourage people to express this to any CenturyLink employees they may have occasion to interact with.


The cheery news just keeps on coming today.


No customers huh? So where does my $59 for DSL service go every month? Pretty sure the address says “CenturyLink”.


Time to add x-contract header to all my web servers and add that text to said header.

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I think you’ll find your line under “Board Entertainment”.

Any advice for someone who is soon going to be forced to deal with them? They may be fraudsters, but they also are a near-monopoly. My only alternative is Comcast, which, incredibly, is supposed to be even worse.


Hey, if forging people’s names on contracts is good enough for the president, it oughtta be good enough for anyone!

Why do these guys come across as people who know they’re about to lose the lawsuits and are just stalling 'til they get the office furniture loaded onto the truck so they can disappear to their new company, which will also be called CenturyLink.


I can’t give you any advice about dealing with CenturyLink, because I have definitely not ever felt like I ‘won’ any battles with them.

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and forging their signature on a contract does not bind them to the contract’s terms.

Just pray no members of Congress are reading this.


In my country, an individual who commits fraud to obtain monetary advantage is committing a crime - though not generally used to target corporate behaviour there is no reason it could not be. I wonder - is there any equivalent legislation in the US that would allow an individual to pursue criminal prosecution and criminal compensation I wonder?

By downloading or displaying this comment you agree to take over any contractual obligations or other debts, past, present, and future, that I, at my sole discretion, deem to have been unjustly imposed upon me or otherwise prefer not to pay. You furthermore authorize BoingBoing, Discourse, your ISP, and any other parties who may have information that might assist in identifying you and confirming that this comment was downloaded or displayed by you to release that information to me. You furthermore consent to any other or additional actions that might enable enforcement of this contract. If any clause of this is ruled invalid in a court, this will not invalidate any of the other clauses and the rest of the agreement will still be considered valid.


I love that a culture that lives by and thrives on capitalism—which inherently encourages greed and avarice—are surprised and outraged when companies act to that effect. Insurance, medicine, finance, you name it, these guys are playing within the boundaries of the capitalism game and are getting theirs.

Not saying it’s unfair on the rest of us. Just saying these guys found a questionable loophole that allows this and seem to be getting away with it, but they’ll keep doing it as long as they can.

The only way the Average Joe can really win is either by finding a way to change the rules, or not simply not play at all.

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If there is, it’s probably easily circumventable to those with enough money to throw at the problem.

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Honestly, go with Comcast. At least it works.