Scientists unlock methods for testing evil

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2018/09/11/scientists-unlock-methods-for.html

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That’s a long-winded way of saying “Selfish fucks tend to be selfish fucks all the time, not just sometimes”, but hey, maybe this will lay the groundwork for psychological tests and screening via social media histories that will start allowing us to filter these people out of public office and managerial positions.

And then pigs will fly.

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I wonder if they can measure my /S factor?

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I’ve been using a tried and true method for a couple years now. 3 Questions…

  1. Are you a member of the GOP?
  2. Are you a member of the NRA?
  3. Do you like or did you vote for Trump?

Answer yes to any 2 of the 3 and boom…EVIL. Answering only one of three with a yes means you have the capacity for evil, but are merely at this point a moron.

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download

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oh, come on. IKEA instructions are not THAT hard to follow.

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Well there’s absolutely no way this could turn out badly. Can’t possibly imagine a scenario it would go wrong. Nope.

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Does the D stand for Douchebag? Or Deleterious?

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Donald…

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I’m sure the GOP would insist it stands for “Democrat”.

But yeah, “Douche” it what I first thought of.

Turn’s out it’s “Dark”.

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Actually, this is really useful. Most crimes are committed by evil people, i.e. criminals. If we could all be tested regularly, almost all crimes could be prevented before criminals even think of them.

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no matter what methodology one uses to figure out exactly how much cheese is on someone’s mental cracker

Sometimes facial expression is enough…

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If mayonnaise is involved in the test, they’re on the right track.

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In college econ, the prof said we could imagine everyone with a little douche-meter on their foreheads. He called it a personal utility meter, but he was talking about a d-meter. Yes, that was well before Richard Thaler.

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I see what you did there.

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Uh oh, somebody just failed the D-TEST…

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In the US, everyone commits crimes. There are so many laws, some of which contradict other laws, you literally can’t not commit crimes. The majority of those crimes involve no transgression against fellow citizens. A big part of why we have that situation is that most Americans uncritically equate law with justice, especially people with the white privilege not to be targeted by law enforcement. There’s an old saying, a liberal is a conservative who’s been arrested.

Gotta say, I’m leery of sociologists who equate dark with evil.

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Hmm, I wonder how stable D-factor scores are over time. That is can a person learn to mellow out and stop being a selfish jerk?

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If consensual sex provides utility that is “irrelevant of the effect on others”, one (or more) of you is most likely doing something wrong.

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so I know the facial expressions are creepy yes. But what I am looking at is the meats and cheeses platter layout. When I go to someone’s home and see this sort of thing it means only one thing to me…SOMEONE TOUCHED EVERY SINGLE PIECE TO ARRANGE THAT! And in this case…it was probably those two kids who don’t know what “sanitary” means.

I hate shit like that.

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