Scientology Christmas gifts


#1

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#2

I saw this yesterday. Who has time to listen to a thousand lectures???

Anyway - yeah… um… hey, who wants to hear L. Ron Hubbard sing?

(So… soooo sorry.)


#3

Careful: Those Mark 8 Easybake meters have a feature that if they don’t get their yearly good conduct “update” from the mothership website, they brick themselves.


#4

Isn’t it horribly dangerous or something to use an e-meter without paying a trained professional thousands of dollars for a session? Or is this a sign that they are getting unusually desperate?


#5

I realize Christmas has become a pretty secular holiday, but between celebrating it and the big cross on their headquarters I wonder if Scientology is trying to pass itself off as a sect of a slightly more popular religion…


#6

Don’t worry, you’ll get all the training you need. For $10,000.


#7

Well, considering people have looked at trees and shit and ginned up stories about the Red Sea parting and death coming with 72 virgins and whatnot, Scientology just seems like a modern American version of the same craziness but with some technological stupidity thrown in for good measure.

I’m curious about the people who fleshed it out to this level. Certainly, the guy who designed the e-meter was educated enough to know that the thing he was developing was merely an expensive prop, right? Of course, every time I consider any organized religion, I can open the holy book of that religion, plop my finger down on the page, and get a wholly satisfying, “What the everloving fuck?!?”


#8

No cool robes or cookie wands? Pass.


#9

Yknow, it ought to be possible to build a higher-quality e-meter with way more features for a lot less money. Anybody here any good at Arduino?


#10

I like the red one.


#11

Is it against the rules for a scientologist to buy a normal $20 cd player? And FFS, why not just have a $500 MP3 player. At this point it has to be almost easier and cost about the same to provide people with digital players for that money.

They just must have a shitload of burned CD’s that Muskrat doesn’t want to eat the cost of.


#12

See, this is where you’re not getting it.


#13

Perchance you should create a spin off religion based on scientology for people who can’t afford it’s high costs. I dub it cheap-o-sci-ology?


#14

But none of them will let you see the fnords.


#15

The advertisement for the “Mark VIII E Meter” looks like something out of an Adam and Eve catalog.


#16

Perchance you should create a spin off religion based on scientology for people who can’t afford it’s high costs. I dub it cheap-o-sci-ology?

Science-not-a-lot-gy?


#17

Way back when I was a teenager, I spent a week with these guys. I wasn’t exactly a star pupil, so they had me checked out on the old e-meter. The electrodes were a couple of small juice cans alligator clipped to the leads. Not exactly a big confidence booster.

And I don’t want to say something’s up with this, but what’s up with this?


#18

That is a better one.


Huffing Boing Boing
#19

Nipple clamps have a distinct purpose. They wouldn’t be used with an e-meter. I am willing to bet there are Scientologists using nipple clamps, and I’m willing to bet you’d all fuck a fine Scientologist. Alas, no one seems to be sexy enough to go there. Just the same old bs. Get your sexy on!


#20

I’m glad the Mk VIII has the same retro sci-fi styling we’ve come to expect from the Mk I through VII