Scorpion stings man during flight on United Airlines


Originally published at:


Shh everyone will want one now.


I’m just saying, the guy who got stung was no angel.

I mean, for one thing, he was in Houston for some reason.




The guy was “…flying from Houston to Calgary…”. so perhaps he was escaping to the friendlier confines of Canada.


They flushed it down the toilet. . .

Imagine how much worse it would have been treated if it had actually paid for a seat.


United is actually training these scorpions to sting lower-priority passengers when they want to seat more prestigious passengers (or employees) instead, to help encourage such rabble to flee the plane without having to knock them unconscious first.


United! Come for the beatings, stay for the scorpions.


The scorpion was just seeking out passengers with “drug-related offenses”. Expect the local news to dox him shortly.


I expect scorpions dropping on me from Southwest, but not United!


Great. Now they’ll change the policy so I can’t take my live scorpions in my carry-on bag. Just great.


Couldn’t they have just thrown the scorpion on the doctor, solving two problems at once?


I feel a sequel coming on…


So now United is mistreating Scorpions on its flights too?!? This is Arachnidism!!!


They did, but he just thought it was the pre-flight snack.

'Cause he asian. geddit. Sorry, I’ll show myself out.


Somewhere deep in the United Airlines operations manual…

  1. Drop Scorpion from secret compartment
  2. Send thugs to knock you out
  3. ???
  4. Profit!!


That’s a common flight for people in the oil industry.


Got it.


I would suspect that something like this happens on a regular basis, and is only making the news because bashing United is so hot right now.

If you’re wondering, of course people are talking to the United Breaks Guitars Guy again.


There is a saying that bad luck comes in threes, is this the third one for United in a week?
BTW I do not believe in “bad luck”.
I hope the stowaway arachnid was not handcuffed and dragging screaming out.
Imagine if the Tarantula tribe and Black Widow tribes hear about it and let’s not even mention the snakes!