Originally published at: Senate candidate Herschel Walker's son shares shocking accusations on Twitter | Boing Boing
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Herschel Walker now insinuating that his son Christian (a far-right influencer) is an agent of “the left.”
There is literally nothing a GOP candidate can do to convince their followers that they are a worse candidate than their Democratic rival. If a Republican politician pulled off their rubber human mask to reveal themselves as a reptilian child-eating demon then the right-wingers would shrug and say “at least he didn’t vote for Biden!”
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I’m reminded of all the times Republicans were happy to tell sports figures to shut up and play ball, whenever they spoke out for liberal causes.
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I’m surprised Republican politicians haven’t made it a rite of passage by now to shoot someone on Fifth Avenue.
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“Of course we aren’t (apparently) reducing our support for our trump-approved™ candidate just because one of his many out-of-wedlock offsprings, a conservative himself, derides his father for being a violent abuser of his families and overt hypocrite on reproductive rights!! …and thereby hand some advantage to a super benevolent socially supportive church pastor and Democrat politician!? that would be madness!!!” -sigh- (“besides rabid hypocrisy is a main republican selling point”)
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“We’re here now live with the candidate on 5th Avenue. The streets are eerily empty. I guess word got around. Oh, wait, here comes someone now. Excuse me … sir, sir … can we have a word?”
“Uh, sure, I guess.”
“We’d just like to know how you voted in the last election. Would you be willing to share that with our viewers?”
“Why … wait, is this one of those rite-of-passage things? Who’s that guy behind you?”
“Him? Oh, no one. Just our cameraman’s assistant. That’s all.”
“He’s wearing a suit. He’s a Republican candidate, isn’t he?”
“Sir, we just want to know how you voted.”
“I … uh … I voted straight MAGA … all up and down the ticket.” (weakly) “Make America Great Again. Where We Go One, We Go All. Donald Trump! Donald Trump! Right?”
“I notice you’re not wearing a red hat.”
“It’s … it’s at home … uh … it’s in the wash … my son took it to college … the cat ate it … I … uh …”
BLAM! BLAM! (pause) BLAM!
“We sure that guy was a liberal?”
“Pretty sure. Does it matter?”
“I guess not. So, anything you’d like to share with our viewers before we go, sir?”
“Absolutely. Remember, when you’re dealing with liberals,a simple double-tap isn’t enough. It’s Mozambique Drill or nothing. And that’s the kind of thoroughness and determination I plan to bring to Washington. Hail Trump. Thank you.”
"And there we have it, ladies and gentleman. With that little formality out of the way, the candidate’s path to office is clear. This is Carl Tuckerson from One America Fox News, live from 5th Avenue, New York, handing you back to the studio for updated coverage of today’s Patriots Against Knowledge book-burning event in Pensacola, Florida … "
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All too real!
I’d suggest expanding that into a dystopian novel, but I also fear that by the time of publication, it’ll be a depiction of current reality instead of the future. 
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You keep using the word “father” to refer to Herschel Walker. Based on what I’ve heard and read about him I’m not sure that’s the best term. Is “sperm donor” closer to the mark for his relationship with at least some of the children who share his DNA?
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Herschel should be asked if he should go to prison if the allegations are true.
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Even if the person getting shot was a Republican, they’d still vote for the shooter. Heck, if the shooting victim survived, he would still vote for him.
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If you mean “a worse person”, I’m fairly sure the hardcore chuds don’t care about that question.
Because, the MAGA vote isn’t an extreme wing of the Republican party; it’s an extreme wing of not voting. They care so little about 20th-century-style politics that they’ve circled around into caring passionately about destroying politics itself. It’s irrelevant if a candidate is a bad person, but an entertaining train wreck? Now we’re talking. This guy will get votes because his family hates him.
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And apologize for getting shot
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Remember when campaigns were ended because even a scream was controversial?
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The son ain’t no prize himself, before folks start putting him on a pedestal.
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Oh, that’s still true - for Democrats. It’s not just that there are two standards - both for voters and the press when covering those candidates - it’s that the standards are so far apart, they aren’t even on the same planet.
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I think you mean the same pedestal that no one here wants to put Liz Cheney on either?
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No. I know people who have donated sperm and trust me, NONE of them have abused or terrified the resulting families. Zero. Walker doesn’t even rate that admittedly low bar nomenclature.
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