“May your vibrator chip and shatter.”
Off on a bit of a tangent, but:
That time when Captain Picard was Gurney Halleck and charged into battle carrying the pug of House Atreides.
(Seriously, this is the year 10,192 and we’ve bred humans into psychic nuns and monstrous slugs that can fold time and space, but the pug? The pug breed is eternally true.)
Your next challenge is to write an Anarick, where the last words on every line must all be anagrams of one another.
That was just some guy who called himself the Mahdi. The real next-level Kwizatz Haderach dude is still to come. He’s going to be so cool, he’ll have Jesus for a sidekick…
I just find I don’t have the time to keep up with apocalyptic religions nowadays. So many messiahs, so many caliphs, who’s counting?
Accountants of Dune, though…not quite the worst imaginable dystopian novel but close.
“These expense claims for spice going back 3000 years…do you have delivery notes or invoices to support them?”
You’re quoting from the wrong novel. “These expense claims…” etc. is from the sequel to Accountants of Dune, namely God-Auditor of Dune, and it is the worst imaginable dystopian novel.
As an afterthought: if I was to be fucked, I’d much rather it was by the Bene Gesserit than the God-Auditor.
As you instructed me, I have enlightened the accountants concerning your expense claim f…
The expense claims related to crushing the Atreides.
Difference in terminology. In the UK, accountants audit, and this is the usage I am most familiar with.
Bean counters are called management accountants.
I guess however we should stick with Harvard Business School terminology. This could give rise to a whole new series:
CTO of Dune
CIO of Dune
COO of Dune
CFO of Dune
CEO of Dune
Imperial SEC Bothers Dune
Chapter 11 of Dune
Restructuring of Dune
God Emperor of Dune and the Imperial Tax Haven.
I for one welcome our new Conqueror-Worm overlords.
The way my brain works:
See’s: "Sex Nun of Dune"
Thinks: Sex Nun of Dune -> Nun Sex Monk Rock by Nina Hagen -> Stops by her wiki -> dives into her catalog on Spotify
And no more works were given on this… Wednesday.
Have you read Orson Scott Card’s Wyrms?
That suddenly jumped to mind though apart from the title it’s more like a Brothers Grimm + secret Mormon theology mash-up. Very odd book without being as actively unpleasant as some of his fantasy books.
Any philologists* spending time with the Book of Mormon would find ample material, but to joke about at faculty dinners. Starting with the prophets Ether and Moron, and it’s all downhill from there.
*The brothers Grimm were renowned philologists and liberal politicians. I’m sure they would be horrified if they knew they were mainly remembered for the fairy tales.
You don’t mess with the Cantrap of the Master Philologist.
Not if you don’t want to be reclassified as a solar myth and end up in the Hell of your grandfathers, you don’t.