It is the new drug craze. Kids will just shoot the stuff up their noses not knowing that they will eventually choke to death. Something must be done.
No sweat. Iâve got a case of spray cheese ready to go.
So many snarky comments. . . .
This is a silly thread.
Oh âwellâ. Guess Iâll have to stick to my âusualâ shaving cream pranks. Although Iâve âfoundâ that shaving cream doesnât sp"ray" nearly as well, my favorite use is filling a âpaperâ bag with it, slipping the bagâs âopenâ end under âsomeoneâsâ door and then âjumpingâ on the bag.
âFreeâ Pilates
Those arenât even scare quotes. Theyâre meant for emphasis only, like italics, and mean nothing at all. Theyâre really amusing when they look like scare quotes, like the sign reading: âFreshâ pie $3.00.
Also, amid the outrage, nobody has pointed out that the sign was almost certainly not made by police officers, but ordered by the town council from a sign shop, most of which are still independently owned even in this benighted era.
Remember when being a kid meant getting into mischief? And getting caught? And punished, not by the police, but by your parents?
The quotes, in addition to the â.00â, make the $1000 fine look a lot larger. Plus, the sign will probably look really creepy at night when it is lit up by streetlights or headlights.
Also, the quoting of âILLEGALâ implies that cops wonât only arrest you for silly string.
My favorite was the diner in my old Chicago neighborhood that listed âFreshâ Eggs on their menu. (They actually did make pretty decent omelets and eggs, but Iâll admit that listing always worried me a little.)
Try chewing/bringing gum in Disneyworld. Itâs not sold there and not allowed there (because itâs a PITA to clean up, gets on shoes/clothes/hair/etc).
Having someone being super hyper nice to you at the same time as they are telling you not to have gum is entertaining and scary at the same time. Even more so if they are in character.
Iâm impressed that they got the 12:00 a.m. right, referring to midnight between the 30th and 31st (this is a 36-hour ban, not a 24-hour ban.) Many people will either get it wrong, using 12 a.m. when they meant noon, or avoid the confusion altogether by going with 12:01 a.m.
All this assumes that had they meant noon, they would have said ânoonâ (heh,) just as they did on November 1st.
Any use of âsilly stringâ will be punished by a âlaserâ.
This. The thing that offends me most about that sign is the wrong close quote mark - seriously, how the fuck does anyone manage to do that?
Reminds me of one of my favorite signs ever. In Gettysburg, PA it reads:
SPEED LIMIT ELECTRICALLY ENFORCED
Which is probably meant to show off their new-fangled radar abilities, but it sure sounds like at 11 miles over youâll be sentenced to ride Olâ Sparky.
EDIT:
no idea who (or more likely what) OlâSparky is, but foe me it sounds more like they have an electrical force-field to slow you down. SciFi in action.
Whether ârightâ (as defined by increasingly common usage) or âwrongâ, using âa.m.â (or âp.m.â, for that matter) with midnight still grates on my cognitive processing nerves. Since theyâre already using 4-digit times and modifiers, â12:01am October 31st to 12:01pm November 1stâ would be no more cumbersome for the sign, and be much clearer.
If they really wanted a city-wide ban, they would start a marketing campaign about the shocking conditions inside Silly String factories, where cuddly animals (naugas, maybe?) live miserable, tortured lives for the sake of the production of pink novelty goo.
Happy to be learning what those stupid quotation marks can be called. I mostly see them in rural grocery stores, so calling them greengrocers marks makes perfect sense to me.
My theory is that less-literate folk see wise saying attributed to famous people, and assume the quotation marks are simply there for emphasis. Itâs the most common example of american engrish.
Try putting a spray paint nozzle on your shaving cream can. Youâll find it sprays exceptionally well!
Spray silly string: get fined $1000.
Spray pepper spray directly into kidsâ faces: get awarded $35,000.