Silly String ban in Los Angeles

It is the new drug craze. Kids will just shoot the stuff up their noses not knowing that they will eventually choke to death. Something must be done.

No sweat. I’ve got a case of spray cheese ready to go.


So many snarky comments. . . .

This is a silly thread.


Oh “well”. Guess I’ll have to stick to my “usual” shaving cream pranks. Although I’ve “found” that shaving cream doesn’t sp"ray" nearly as well, my favorite use is filling a “paper” bag with it, slipping the bag’s “open” end under “someone’s” door and then “jumping” on the bag.

“Free” Pilates

Those aren’t even scare quotes. They’re meant for emphasis only, like italics, and mean nothing at all. They’re really amusing when they look like scare quotes, like the sign reading: “Fresh” pie $3.00.

Also, amid the outrage, nobody has pointed out that the sign was almost certainly not made by police officers, but ordered by the town council from a sign shop, most of which are still independently owned even in this benighted era.

Remember when being a kid meant getting into mischief? And getting caught? And punished, not by the police, but by your parents?


The quotes, in addition to the “.00”, make the $1000 fine look a lot larger. Plus, the sign will probably look really creepy at night when it is lit up by streetlights or headlights.

Also, the quoting of “ILLEGAL” implies that cops won’t only arrest you for silly string.

My favorite was the diner in my old Chicago neighborhood that listed “Fresh” Eggs on their menu. (They actually did make pretty decent omelets and eggs, but I’ll admit that listing always worried me a little.)

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Try chewing/bringing gum in Disneyworld. It’s not sold there and not allowed there (because it’s a PITA to clean up, gets on shoes/clothes/hair/etc).

Having someone being super hyper nice to you at the same time as they are telling you not to have gum is entertaining and scary at the same time. Even more so if they are in character.

I’m impressed that they got the 12:00 a.m. right, referring to midnight between the 30th and 31st (this is a 36-hour ban, not a 24-hour ban.) Many people will either get it wrong, using 12 a.m. when they meant noon, or avoid the confusion altogether by going with 12:01 a.m.

All this assumes that had they meant noon, they would have said “noon” (heh,) just as they did on November 1st.

Any use of “silly string” will be punished by a “laser”.

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This. The thing that offends me most about that sign is the wrong close quote mark - seriously, how the fuck does anyone manage to do that?

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Reminds me of one of my favorite signs ever. In Gettysburg, PA it reads:


Which is probably meant to show off their new-fangled radar abilities, but it sure sounds like at 11 miles over you’ll be sentenced to ride Ol’ Sparky.


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no idea who (or more likely what) Ol’Sparky is, but foe me it sounds more like they have an electrical force-field to slow you down. SciFi in action.

Whether “right” (as defined by increasingly common usage) or “wrong”, using ‘a.m.’ (or ‘p.m.’, for that matter) with midnight still grates on my cognitive processing nerves. Since they’re already using 4-digit times and modifiers, “12:01am October 31st to 12:01pm November 1st” would be no more cumbersome for the sign, and be much clearer.


If they really wanted a city-wide ban, they would start a marketing campaign about the shocking conditions inside Silly String factories, where cuddly animals (naugas, maybe?) live miserable, tortured lives for the sake of the production of pink novelty goo.

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Happy to be learning what those stupid quotation marks can be called. I mostly see them in rural grocery stores, so calling them greengrocers marks makes perfect sense to me.

My theory is that less-literate folk see wise saying attributed to famous people, and assume the quotation marks are simply there for emphasis. It’s the most common example of american engrish.

Try putting a spray paint nozzle on your shaving cream can. You’ll find it sprays exceptionally well!

Spray silly string: get fined $1000.

Spray pepper spray directly into kids’ faces: get awarded $35,000.