Sinkhole turns out to be tunnel to bank

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2019/01/31/sinkhole-turns-out-to-be-tunne.html

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It was so narrow that a person would have to lie on his or her stomach to navigate it, Agent Leverock said.

Another failure of imagination.

midgetbandits

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No one got into the bank, and no money was stolen,

Better luck next time.

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Geez, with the water table so high out there, I’m surprised they didn’t drown. /s

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Miami? Eventually, eventually…

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Have you seen this man?

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did somebody say Florida Man?

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“They could’ve been going for the A.T.M., they could’ve been going for the vault.” But after the would-be bank thief reached the ultimate destination, Agent Leverock speculated, then what?

“The Ultimate Destination” would make a good band name.

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Stealing an ATM didn’t work out so well for those crackheads in Breaking Bad. Turns out, they’re heavy. Imagine some low-IQ crooks trying to drag an ATM through a 3-foot dirt tunnel. Comedy!

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They were after the pens on chains.

OR

They were putting something in the bank.

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So many would-be criminals are just giving up lately. The guy that dropped his gun on the other side of the counter, the woman that tore up her robbery note, and now this. What’s up with that? Are criminals becoming less skilled/committed?

Worked out fine (so far) for the guys that stole the ATM from my wife’s work a couple weeks back. They dragged it out of the building at the end of a chain that ran to the back of a van. Some damage was done.

It would have been awesome if they had tried tunneling to it though.

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come here of errors

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I’m trying to figure out how this could be any more Florida. By adding drugs, alligators, hip-hop dance crew?

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Yeah, but as in The Great Escape, this was probably all the surveyor’s fault.

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I get nervous being in a ditch deep enough that my head is below the ground, even if it is properly shored.
I can’t imagine crawling though a tunnel that I dug, just be waiting for the top to come down on me.

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Oh my god, they found Tom!

I saw an article where septic systems (the kind with a tank in the ground that filters out through a couple feet of soil) are already failing because they require 2 feet of unsaturated soil below the tank, and for many people they don’t have that any more. Estimated $25k (seems high, but that’s what they said) per dwelling to hook up to a sewer system.

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