Sloth very clear on importance of chewing food slowly

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2019/03/18/sloth-very-clear-on-importance.html

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Obligs:

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Sloths can move pretty quick when they want to/have to.

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Is that Rob Beschizza enjoying a nice salad?

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Sloths: making everyone else look like panicked fools since 40,000,000BC

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I dunno, this is like saying “tortoise very clear on the importance of ‘slow and steady wins the race.’”

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The hair is too short.

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… to be chased down with a fine vintage of pond water.

(Sole images of Babe Ruth eating.)

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You gotta love the bulging eyeballs. And the tongue.

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Xenarthra for the win.

Xenarthrans share several characteristics not present in other placental mammals, and are often considered to be among the most primitive order of placental mammals. The name Xenarthra, which means “strange joints”, was chosen because their vertebral joints have extra articulations unlike other mammals.

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Not enough ginger.

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Take your arm off at the elbow, 'e can.

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Given enough time.

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my friend has had a sloth named Steve visit his studio a couple of times. he painted his portrait

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Hey Deloris…
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
                                                          …you gotta try this salad!

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Slow torture is the worst.

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A guy’s doorbell rings. He opens the door… and on the ground is snail, and the snails says, “Hey. I wanna ask ya somethin’…” The guy picks up the snail and throws him as far as possible. Two years go by. Same guy, his doorbell rings, and at the door is the same snail. Says the snail, “What the fuck was that all about!?”

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