Something New: frank, comedic, romantic memoir of a wedding in comic form

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I think Lucy is the bees knees, but I have to ask: if sheā€™s queer, why did she marry a man? Iā€™m not trying to be snarky, here, just trying to parse it out. Are you just using that in the sense of broadening the definition of her sexuality (i.e. sheā€™s bisexual, of which being queer is a part)? Or does queer have a broader meaning, now?

Is it any of your business?

And yes, queer has ALWAYS had a wider definition.

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It isnā€™t. Iā€™m merely trying to understand the terminology and its application. For all of my life, queer had a fairly static definition; someone getting married for romantic reasons to someone of the opposite gender was generally the opposite of that definition. I wasnā€™t asking her reasons or her right to do so, since thatā€™s entirely between her and her husband. Nor was I trying to imply any sort of judgement about them getting married. Iā€™m trying to become less ignorant.

If Wikipedia is to be believed, then the term started getting wider application starting in the late 1980s. As a cis-gendered child of the 70s, that probably explains why I didnā€™t notice itā€™s change.

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Fair enough.

Just because an individual settles down with someone of the opposite gender doesnā€™t mean they stop being attracted to people of the same gender all of a sudden. They donā€™t suddenly become cisgendered or straight just because they get married.

Iā€™ve always understood queer as having a much more all-encompassing definition of sexual practices, so it was a more big umbrella term (from the 80s-90s, for me). But at one time, it just meant strange. Language evolves, but Iā€™ve always understood it as more of a blanket term that was taken up selectively by those who didnā€™t feel comfortable with the more confining terms.

And thatā€™s great. I just wanted to understand proper usage so I donā€™t make assumptions, especially incorrect ones. When I was growing up, it was primarily a derogatory (or at least irreverent, depending on who said it) term largely meaning ā€˜homosexual manā€™ (ā€œJohnny are you queer?ā€, etc.). That the term is both less offensive and more useful in language is good to know.

As a queer man, the term always meant one specific thing when I was young: gay/lesbian. Bisexual, yes, but back in the 80s it was assumed that bisexuals were just indecisive gay people. Itā€™s been fascinating to watch its definition change and evolve and expand over the last 10-15 years to encompass gay, lesbian, bisexual, asexual, pansexual, or what have you. A cisgendered woman happily married to a man might call herself queer if she and her husband both get off on lesbian porn together. Iā€™d also point you towards the excellent Oh Joy Sex Toy, written/drawn by a queer woman married to a straight man, which regularly depicts a wide colorful rainbow of genders, orientations, interests, and body types.

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