Space stinks


#1

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#2

Does this explain why we all fart so much working on telescopes at 10,000 feet altitude? Or is that an air pressure thing?


#3

My patent for a charcoal-activated butt filter seems a lot less “frivilous” now, doesn’t it Mr. Patent Office analyst McGillicutty?


#4

Well, weightlessness makes it impossible to burp, and all that gas has to go somewhere.

I suppose that statement is technically true. As I understand it, you can burp but every burp is a barfy burp. So you keep those burps down unless you really want to throw up in your mouth a little bit. Writing that has made me feel bad enough that I think this comment needs a unicorn chaser.


#5

“Space,” it says, “is big. Really big. You just won’t believe how vastly, hugely, mindbogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it’s a long way down the road to the chemist’s, but that’s just peanuts to space.”

Calling the 1.70 m3 of habitable space inside a Mercury Capsule Module ‘space’ is a bit of stretch. Even the Space Station’s 837 m3 doesn’t, ahem, cut the mustard.


#6

Sorry, there’s prior art. I had a book as a kid full of wacky Victorian patents, including a kind of porous butt-plug filled with kapok soaked in the scent of your choice. Also, there was an automatic hat-raiser, powered by clockwork, for the gentleman encumbered with parcels (or possibly unencumbered with arms) who needed to politely raise his hat to a Lady in the street and could not.


#7

And that is why my SO can never be an astronaut.


#8

Getting hot boxed on the ISS…it’s not like you can roll the windows down.


#9

Yuri Gagarin was also probably the first man to pass gas in space?


#10

Muuuuuch worse than an elevator.


#11

I’m disappointed in the lack of farting smileys. The closest I could find was :poop: so I had to find another one.


#12

Why don’t we just make methane-powered spaceships? Once beyond the Earth’s gravity, astronauts could fart their way to Mars. There are already designs for spaceships which use the Solar Wind, aka the Sun’s farts, so why not give human farts a try? My God, can you imagine how fast a ship could accelerate if the crew ate nothing but bean & cheese burritos?


#13

That’s one small step for- frrrrrt


#14

Perhaps one could combine the two and devise a pneumatic method to politely/discretely deal with both issues.


#15

Sorry, Poe’s Law works for Skymall crap, too: http://myshreddies.com/


#16

On the upside, in space no one can hear you fart.


#17

Another factor on the Apollo programme was that drinking water in the command module came from the fuel cells which turn hydrogen and oxygen into water and energy. Water was a waste product, but imperfect combination of the two gasses left gaseous hydrogen in the water which had to be expelled from the body.

Michael Collins wrote that Apollo 11 had rather a bad smell about it by the time they got to the end of the mission.


#18

Wait. My husband is an astronaut?


#19

An asstronoaut. Hurr hurr huurr.


#20

“Why are hemorrhoids called hemorrhoids and asteroids called asteroids? Wouldn’t it make more sense if it was the other way around? But if that was true, then a proctologist would be an astronaut.”
-Robert Schimmel