Spruce up a white table with just a rake and paint with this fun summer project

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Originally published at: Spruce up a white table with just a rake and paint with this fun summer project | Boing Boing

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I don’t even know where to start.

First, the flipping between “I’m going to ask questions about how to do this like I don’t know” and “I’m going to correct you and tell you how to do this” is really annoying.

Then there’s $80 worth of paint wasted. Even if you get it cheap, it’s still at least 3 gallons of paint going straight into the garbage. She almost gives it away at 7:40 where she has a brief moment of clarity looking at all the paint on the dropcloth and says “Wow, look at all the paint we…” and then he interrupts her and they’re back to being clueless again.

It’s going to take forever to dry enough to use as a table.

And it’s not even foldable anymore!

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A:
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B: How well will “house” paint stick to the (polyethylene?) plastic table? I’m guessing not well. And yeah, super thick, so days to dry and will probably crack (and fall off).

Oh youtube, our daily pipeline of Sturgeon’s Law.

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It just reminds me of millipedes and that’s not attractive.

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Psyche-relic.

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You are not alone. So many squiggly legs! :scream:

And I’m guessing that it won’t stand up to much use before all the paint starts to flake off. The table wasn’t even primed.

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Maybe you could put some paper stock on the ground and make some kind of abstract painting from the waste.

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Or just get naked and roll in it.
Very Yves Klein.
Or use cloth dust sheet and have a Pollock to go on your table.

The effect is okay, trying not be too moany, the table is no longer practical.

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There’s an additional issue. This is a plastic folding table. I have an identical one. I am not sure what kind of paint that is, but it probably won’t stick and will immediately scratch off.

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If that’s just latex paint it ain’t never drying hard, it’s going to be rubbery. Maybe if they use epoxy but not regular paint.

They have a one time use thing that may get some compliments but that paint is peeling right off.

My wife gets compliments at our camping get togethers using the same table with homemade decorations and flowers with dollar store table cloths.

Put me down for… I really don’t get it.

Oh wait, that’s the same guy trying desperately to get a viral video with his spaghetti toilet.

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And his shoes and rake.

“Takes mere minutes to accomplish the effect, but you’ll be delighted by the years of paint flaking off into your lunch plate!”

“And notice you can’t even see the seam!”

You also can’t use that seam. Which is actually a hinge. For, like folding it with. But that’s ok, the latch mechanism was already destroyed.

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Triggered. My greatest desire now in life is to be invited to a bbq at their house and spend the afternoon slowly peeling that mess off in one satisfying sheet. mmmmm

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This is the kind of project made for TikTok- seems really neat if you don’t think about it for more than three seconds. At second four, you realize there’s fifty reasons why this is a terrible idea.

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Pretty much what everyone above said: waste of a perfectly good table, rake, and paint.

Now, I have a 10 year old metal patio table and chair set in my back yard that needs love; It’s going to get pressure-washed, sanded, primed with a proper self-etching spray paint, and then it’s getting taped up and some very specific patterns spray painted onto the table and chairs, then a UV resistant clear-coat over all of it after proper cure / drying time.

(this is a winter project, because right now it’s hotter than Satan’s asscrack and the paint would be dry before it hit the table…)

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Well, everyone else said what I was going to say, so I’ll just say:

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Ahhh, glitter! The herpies of craft projects.

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That’s some of the worst marbling technique I’ve ever seen. If he just pulled the rake across the first set he would have ended up with a much nicer pattern.

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When I see this sort of “use a coat of paint to make your shabby old furniture fashionable again!” video, I always see it as a variant of this

What you’re doing is to take something which is possibly valuable, possibly worthless, and spending a lot of money to make sure that it is now definitely worthless.

That table in the OP was cheap, but it was a functional table. And now, after spending somewhere north of $200 on housepaint, plus I don’t know how much on a large container of craft herpes glitter, they’ve got something which will almost immediately start flaking off leaving paint chips in everything, unless you spend another $100 or so on laquer, and then never touch the thing. And probably even then.

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Or tramp about in it in your shoes to make artwo … (Oh, wait, I see he did that. Next video, how to clean paint off shoes.)

ETA @cannibalpeas beat me to the shoe comment

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You all are so great. I came here to point out a lot of the stupidity of this video but you fine people have beat me to it. Well done.

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