Squirrels contaminated my flesh!


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Dumb kid! There wasn’t a stick he could have used to reach? So he stuck his gun into the tree and hooked a twig with the trigger.

I’d already connected the dots about the squirrels in his vest. A real hunting vest (not an orange vest for bike riding) has a double layer of fabric in the back forming a pouch large enough to hold several rabbits, maybe rubberized to prevent leakage. .


I’m guessing a second theory involves sticking squirrels up the rectum and he came up with a complex tale that involved shooting himself to cover his deviance.

Either way, squirrels are dirty and you should only use a gun as a gun.


Depends on what the gun is made from/shoots.

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Motive and opportunity. Circumstantial evidence implicates the ‘dead’ squirrel.

Squirrel killer gets squirrel-infected wound, goes into seizure at hospital then bites doctor (with unnaturally long front teeth) and end of days begins.

Who in hell uses a gun as a stick? Not only that, but a loaded gun? And then turns the barrel around and uses the butt to prod at things?

Methinks Darwin was napping this day…

I’m no comic book expert, but Squirrel Man has the worst origin story ever.

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